|Reviews for When I Met Him at the Bus Stop|
| God Speaking chapter 7 . 4/27/2018
It's a good lighthearted story of two people finding romantic love, short and sweet and certainly not overstaying its welcome. The writing style accentuates the theme since it strikes a balance of simple storytelling while still giving enough details so that the readers could fill in the minute facts themselves. On that regard, the story is mostly told through a neutral lens with a great deal of time dedicated to the conversations between the two main characters. One issue I've found is with the dialogue tags, more specifically the solid periods where a comma should've been, for example
"...in the afterlife." I groaned (when it should've been) "in the afterlife," I groaned
You weren't kidding when things happened fast. They practically made out by the first day of meeting. And maybe that's just an issue inherently present on short stories like this, the reader doesn't have nearly the enough time to get attached to any individual in the story.
Overall a fun read, it's also my first m/m too. Perhaps this wasn't for my demographic but that's my two cents.
| God Speaking chapter 1 . 3/30/2018
Briefly reading the first paragraphs of your other works, I'm pretty confident in stating that you've mastered or if not, gotten extremely proficient with setting up the exposition in a manner that is natural while also simultaneously introducing the characters without the "dialogue-dump" I see far too often around here.
To a first-time reader, the mother being an alcoholic should've been dark and depressing but I, luckily, have read "The Benefits of Death" and the continuity just cracks me up. I love this already.
P.S. If this is going where I think is going then I wouldn't mind. It's just that I'm a hardcor but that's cool.
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 7 . 2/27/2018
This final chapter was spectacular. Seeing Lucius speak to his late father in this chapter really shows the reader that he had a good relationship with his father and they had a good bond together. This entire story as a whole is amazing. I actually liked reading it.
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 5 . 2/20/2018
This...was fantastic! Lucius and Chris sharing their first kiss together was so exciting for me. Personally,I've never been kissed before irl and I have been curious about what it feels like. I once had a dream where I had my first kiss with my ex boyfriend of two years whom I was in a long distance relationship with and it felt so real.
The budding romance between Lucius and Chris is getting so great. I can't wait to read more of the story. This is amazing
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 2 . 2/20/2018
Pretty good chapter. I enjoyed seeing the characters getting to know each other as people. Nice job
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 6 . 2/20/2018
I so LOVED this chapter. It was really amazing. It's amazing how Lucius and Chris help each other and have so much in common with one another. They have really good chemistry together.
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 4 . 2/6/2018
Loved this chapter! The more development I see between Lucius and Chris,the more interested I am in this story. It's getting good so far. It's awesome. I can't wait to read more 8n the future.
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 3 . 2/6/2018
Lucius' friends are so mean! Some people can be jerks especially nowadays. I've seen it on Glee where two characters were bullied for being gay and one of them tried to hang himself. Anyways,story so far is good. One thing I liked is Lucius' budding feelings for Chris. Like a rose,it starts budding. I just love how the feelings are described in this chapter.
| ChaowyBear21 chapter 1 . 1/16/2018
I enjoyed reading this chapter. You did well. I am impressed. I look forward to getting to know the characters more.