|Reviews for The Keeper Games|
| cocoidie-18 chapter 1 . 6/3
I will read a few more chapters before commenting too much on your story. So just some comments on the technical side. I am a bit confused about what spirits are exactly since they seem to have physical form but you didn't touch on that at all in your exposition. Consider and try not to fall back too much on telling rather than showing. You can build and establish your world in a more subtle and immersive way through character development and interaction with your world. A straight out explanation from the narrator takes your reader out of the story.
Writing first-person limits to you the head of your main character making description essential to convey personalities of your characters. This you do very well. Trust your ability and don't try to throw information at the reader, let it come out naturally.
| lirianstar chapter 2 . 4/7
Cecilia scares me. I mean, she's straight up the dangerous type of yandere!
I wonder why Nyx appeared though...
| lirianstar chapter 1 . 3/19
Keepers and spirits?
MC has a female spirit contracted, who is also the weakest? Battles between masters?
And the manga begins! The plot has a lot of potential where character development is concerned. We figure out a lot about what is happening around the mc, but not as much about his background personally.
The other characters are more easily understood - I feel bad so for poor Lilith!
The Elryn's relationship with Cecelia is just... -_-
Elryn should obviously choose to help his* familiar rather than the yandere!
Overall, pretty cool. I'll read on.
| Jae Hwa chapter 1 . 1/24
I’ve been meaning to read this story for a while now! Glad I got around to it. Elryn sounds like a girl’s name, but it doesn’t really matter. Right off the bat, I found Lilith to be a walking contradiction. One minute she’s apologetic and crying, and the next she’s pissed at something Elryn said. Hmm. Also, she has a sweet tooth, but can tolerate coffee? That’s unlikely, but I guess to each their own.
Also, you might need to work on your descriptions. You were throwing out character descriptions left and right that none stuck with me. But you did well in giving each character a specific attribute that stuck with me, eg. Elryn is level-headed, Roy is arrogant and Lilth is... a walking contradiction. In terms of grammar, you’re spot on, your sentences aren’t too choppy (which is a huge issue, believe me or not) and there aren’t much typos. Good job.
I actually really enjoy stories like these, so keep it up!
| naveenkagtk chapter 1 . 1/19