|Reviews for Believe Molly|
| LorrahBear chapter 2 . 2/3
I really like the way you opened this chapter; the first paragraph's descriptions were really strong.
I did see a few small typos:
A missing quotation mark after "Elspeth began."
There's a paragraph break between Molly thinking the hot chocolate with marshmallows sounds lovely and her saying that yes indeed she would like it, but these two lines can be in the same paragraph.
"One family [haven't] even been seen since." Should be hasn't.
Those easy fixes aside, your story is progressing very nicely and I enjoyed the backstory. Nice job!
| LorrahBear chapter 1 . 2/1
Poor Molly. :(
I did notice a few typos, but some additional proof reading should knock those out pretty easily. You might also debate breaking up some of your longer paragraphs, especially if they’re completely full of descriptions.
I love the way you describe the red eyed man.
| Avemist chapter 1 . 1/30
The good. Great description of the house and especially liked the way your able to build the sense of "normalcy" the family has in it before you really start to introduce the scary elements. What is perhaps the most frightening of this short piece is the abandonment you give Molly at the end. It's not just that she knows there's a monster in the house, but that she is forcibly put in the position of facing it alone and unaided.
7.8/10 Excellent work! Only wish it was a bit longer so as to develop the suspense more.