|Reviews for Motherless|
| Encore19 chapter 1 . 8/10/2018
This is a curious and well-written piece. Very poetic. It does give me biblical vibes, with talk of divine wrath and brimstone, but you also have the Mother Earth talking about man's false gods in the sky and devils below. So I get a mix of the biblical vibes with pagany mother-earth religion stuff. A very interesting read, and you're very good with words. I like the primordial soup description and how this god created inwards in her atmosphere. Even giving us a history of the dinosaurs before they were wiped out. I reread the start once I knew what it was about, and the birth of our Earth is written beautifully. Good job.
| Sgt. Hishiro chapter 1 . 8/8/2018
The vocabulary’s really good and that’s a good strength to have. As far as I can tell there are no grammar issues and that’s really impresses me since it’s written in first person and I generally find very difficult to write successfully in first person. You repeat and expand on what the character says to really build understanding in the readers’ mind.
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 5/12/2018
An excellent use of vocabulary is what defines this short piece. Your choice of words easily conveys the sense of awe and grandeur the planet has for itself, its capabilities and place in the universe. It must have been a daunting task for a writer to find the right words to describe the birth of the world, but I find that you've made it look so easy.
Adding on to the impressive vocab is the diction: scarily self-aware and observant. Again, this has been deftly handled, despite the piece's brevity, with comparisons of the planet's evolution in line with the creations it produces, both their progressions and eventually the impending downfall. I really like the line 'At first they knew my love, now they shall know my wrath'. Most fitting for the situation and it brings the story to a full circle; the planet was born from a fiery core and now it seems like its creations will meet their end there.