|Reviews for With All My Heart|
| Frodo's sister chapter 1 . 6/30/2018
Well written and sad.
| I. C. Kyeropas chapter 1 . 4/25/2018
This is always a tough situation. Long distance relationships are hard enough, let alone one where communication is limited and one is at the constant risk of death.
I think this poem is a good opportunity for experimenting with your style. There are several ways you could change it to see if you produce something cool. The first I hinted at in another review - you could cut the unnecessary lines and see what you have left. For example, "I know you will read this" is kind of obvious. Poems aren't usually supposed to state the obvious. Or you could even cut useful lines to see how it changes the story and then decide if you like the change. Like you you deleted "And your eyes locked on mine," it would make the speaker WAAAYYYY weirder. Maybe a weird speaker could be fun.
Another thing you can do is speed up or slow down the poem. How do you do that? To make a poem go faster, use words with fewer syllables and less punctuation. To make it go slower, use long words and periods instead of commas. There are other ways you can find with practice.
A third idea is to use a standard poem structure, like sonnet or blank verse. I personally think blank verse would suit this poem pretty well, but it's up to you. There are lists of types of poems and how to structure them online. It can seem constraining sometimes, but learning how to squeeze your words into a specific container can help you write better.
I hope that was helpful. Thanks for writing!