|Reviews for The Unknown Alchemist|
| beach walker chapter 3 . 9/29
This is very compellingly written. I’m still in awe.
Not sure I’ll be able to keep up reviewing as much because I simply want to keep reading so much. lol
Avery is very endearing. I love how she comes across as a character neither overly Mary Sue-ish nor the other extreme. And there’s a secret about her that hasn’t even begun to get unfolded.
Why was she in the cabin. Who put her there? Who was with her when she was little? Was she left alone after a while to fend for herself? Could she stray away from the cabin or was she bound to it?
So many questions, it’ll be fun to find out more.
It’s also interesting to have Roedin be the almost more relatable one in a way.
The one thing that, while fun to read seemed a little... out of context or over the top, was Avery’s ramblings about the light and dark.
Like, it served an obvious purpose, it was a good read, and gave Roedin cause to “comment” on how she tended to begin to ramble. But it was still a bit... too much perhaps?
Anyways. Loved the chapter.
(Grammatically I just stumbled over the “beacon city.” And there was a sudden present tense when he mused about why no one had found him yet “He can’t have...”)
| Frozentoes chapter 2 . 9/28
Thanks for the review beach walker.
I see what you about too many "She did this. She did that." I'll definitely look at reworking that, and have an eye on for later on.
Actually, when reading it aloud I found 'anymle' became very confusing. I'm changing it to faunid and but want to update all the chapters at once so people don't get confused.
Oh the typos...can't tell you how many times I've read that over and still missed those!
| beach walker chapter 2 . 9/28
Yup. I’m liking this a lot.
It’s a nice subtle start of a story and the universe is slowly unfolding. It’s good to see them both back at the cabin, a little time for both them and us to figure out the dynamics between anymle (is it pronounces the same way as “animal” at all? Or slightly different?) and human.
The little peek into Roedin’s dream was also very telling and interesting. And how humans like to denote their lineage and how Avery is thus immediately marked as different. Avery of the cabin I guess. lol
As for the concrit part: the second paragraph has a few small things that need work, mostly in the last two paragraphs. “His (was) body was ruined...” onward. And then a “pair [of] boots” :)
Another suggestion for a small paragraph, starting “She pulled a cloth off a loaf of bread...”
All the consecutive sentences start with “She verb”. To make it flow a little better, it could easily be rewritten just slightly.
| beach walker chapter 1 . 9/28
What a fantastic start! You have a talent and great skills! It’s easy to tell from just this first chapter how much work and effort have gone into this.
You create a whole new universe and through the protagonist’s eyes we easily learn about it without it seeming out of place or dragging or “worldbuilding for worldbuilding’s sake.”
How we learn about anymle and sapien is well incorporated into the story.
You also created a very approachable and relatable protagonist.
On top of that, your writing seems almost flawless. I think I only spotted two “mistakes” and now only remember one (the second to last elliptic sentence says “Had has to.”)
This is “dangerous”: I have a feeling reading and reviewing your story will keep me from updating my own. lol
I’ll try to do both.
Thanks so much for sharing.
(I’ll be back to leave feedback as I know how much it means and that it’s not so easy to get on here.)
| silverstone2828 chapter 51 . 9/20
Thank you so very much for an awesome book! I’ve enjoyed every word and am looking forward to The Unwilling Princess.
| Torey Hylton chapter 1 . 9/10
You're a great writer with a vivid imagination and I find the opening chapter very intriguing! I'll read the other chapters soon.
| Ookamifemale001 chapter 42 . 8/22
I love this! You're a really good writer. Avery is frickin' adorable. X)
I'd love a review for my story, if you can.
| silverstone2828 chapter 42 . 8/19
Heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you for writing.
| silverstone2828 chapter 37 . 8/12
This is a heartbreaking chapter, but I’m glad to have read it. Thank you for writing such a great story!
| MrCuddels chapter 32 . 7/28
Amazing story with excellent world building. Looking forward to the big reveal.
| silverstone2828 chapter 31 . 7/22
Thank you for continuing this awesome story! When all the details and explanations come out, this will be so satisfying.
I really enjoyed this chapter—it is compelling. Your action writing is so well done that I can see the scenes and am caught up in them.
| Alicia chapter 29 . 7/19
This is a fantastic piece of writing and I am looking forward to the next chapter with baited breath. A gripping tale that I am desperate to know how it started and how it ends!
I look forward to the future chapters!
| cardfan99 chapter 28 . 7/15
I'm thoroughly enjoying the world that you are building and the characters you are sharing with us. I appreciate the pacing and the way you are revealing this world to us. I am also really loving the characters, and seeing how they are braided together where none are without weakness, but their strengths bolster each other up. I look forward to learning more about them and seeing them content to grow individually and together, and seeing how your narrative will continue to provide hints to help unravel the mysteries surrounding Avery's past.
| silverstone2828 chapter 27 . 7/9
I loved this chapter for so many reasons. It must be nearly impossible for Roedin to keep the fact that Avery is his mate from her yet still be around her, but he does. And poor, poor Avery. I hope her willingness to seek comfort from her emotional storm from Roedin is a sign that she is very slowly learning to trust him as a person who happens to be male.
Thanks for writing this story!
| Guest chapter 26 . 7/5
Oh, this chapter is delicious. Thanks!
Avery istruly coming into her own and I admire her for it. I’m anxious to see her reaction when she regains consciousness in the cabin, though.