|Reviews for The Unknown Alchemist|
| Fall Storm chapter 29 . 7/23/2020
I love the name's Avery and Adelyn. May I use them?
| Fall Storm chapter 16 . 7/19/2020
I'm reading your books, again. This is like, the 3th time. Lol
| Cocoa-Pup chapter 50 . 8/5/2019
Great writing, love your ideas and how they turn into a story. Couldn't stop reading.
| Fall Storm chapter 45 . 5/24/2019
Awwww you go Roedin and Avery
| Fall Storm chapter 36 . 5/24/2019
Hi, you're welcome, and thank you. I'm loving this, and loving the love story. If you want me to I could share my thoughts with you anytime, all you need is just ask. I could PM if you'd like.
| Zephomix chapter 35 . 5/24/2019
Hi Fall Storm,
Sapiens are like perfect humans. I've given them pointed ears and slitted pupils to hint at at their animal heritage, but other than they are taller and stronger and just generally better. Faunids look different depending on their race. They usually have a more 'extreme' animal trait such as wings, or a tail, or gills, or multiple arms.
I appreciate your comment though because it means I should look at how I describe the species and ensure that I'm adding descriptors in now and again to remind people.
I'm also making notes for a rewrite, and I was thinking of toning down the faunids a bit; making them less extreme. I essentially have mermaids and centaurs in there and that's starting to seem out of place with the rest of the world I've built. I haven't decided, just something to consider.
Thanks for your thoughts!
| Fall Storm chapter 35 . 5/24/2019
Do the sapien and faunid look human?
| Fall Storm chapter 21 . 5/23/2019
Roedin is good with Avery
| Fall Storm chapter 9 . 5/23/2019
So Avery is the Unknown Alchemist? Do I got that right? Oh love the name Avery.
| Fall Storm chapter 1 . 5/22/2019
I just love you're Profile, and you're stories. Keep it up
| nightgigjo chapter 10 . 3/8/2019
Ooh! More characters! I love the variety here. And the general hey-this-is-not-okay about what happened to Avery. That is also awesome.
| nightgigjo chapter 9 . 3/8/2019
Well, that was exciting! Ayiyiyi!
Notes coming via PM.
Thanks for the excellent chapter!
| nightgigjo chapter 4 . 3/8/2019
Exciting! Terrifying! No notes this chapter - I'm too keen to get on with the plot!
| nightgigjo chapter 3 . 3/8/2019
Lovely, again. Bringing in tidbits of information for us, revealing just a tiny bit more of the world they live in, and letting us know that everything's not quite alright in this cabin: beautifully done, that.
My favorite line: "He swallowed it down along with the bitter taste of being fed by a stranger."
One quick typo note: "a beacon [of] modern civilization"
Thanks for this chapter! On to the next. :)
| nightgigjo chapter 2 . 3/8/2019
An excellent second chapter!
I found it a bit difficult to follow in the middle, where apparently Roedin passes out a second time (after half-falling out of bed after that drink of water). He passes out, then he wakes in the bed a third time? She has put him back in while he was unconscious?
If that's the case, then another horizontal rule between "The darkness came to him quickly as a pair of boots came across the room." and "He stirred uncomfortably..." would probably take care of it. :)
I'm SO CURIOUS to know about this cabin and what kind of magic is going on. So, onward!