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This was funny and interesting and entertaining. you should seriously think about expanding in a type of alice in wonderland meets sookie stackhouse! Great job!

I really enjoyed this story. Everything was very well executed from the characters, the transitions, and the build. When I started reading this I didn't expect it to go where it did.

The start of the story was a bit slow. It wasn't a lack of substance, I thought there was a little to much. You do an elegant job of explaining the situation and circumstances that lead into the adventure.
There wasn't much of a description for Allie or her mom. It bothered me a bit.
Two things that really get me about the writing. When describing age its better to write it out. Instead of saying she's 15, it would be better put as ' fifteen'
Two, I'm sad to hear your going into editing because I think you would make a great author.

Write the Night

This was so weird but in a good way. I really liked its craziness, I'll remember this story forever.

Ah, madness, love it. Like one of those stories that's meant not to make sense, such as Alice in Wonderland. 10/10 for your summary and first sentence. I guess some story progressions and characterisations of possibly unneeded characters were a bit rough around the edges, but you could work that out later. Must have been fun to write. Why did you rate it M though? You use a few swearing words which probably makes it T, but... there's no sexual content or horrifying imaging.

~Lost Cat