|Reviews for Winter Crossed Spring|
| SoSaysL chapter 12 . 12/24/2018
Writing a cohesive, well-written story of so many words is quite a feat. And it’s a fulfilling, satisfying story too, one with real heart, that’s not afraid to ask tough questions and explore the ambiguity surrounding them.
Haruhi asks for flowers, while Aki asks for a kiss, a hug, and a handshake. Quite telling, I think. Does Aki realize her sister is gone? If so (and probably she does), I think the letter becomes even sadder. Also, the notes on which flowers mean what are great to read, makes you realize just how much planning and detail went into the story.
Also, I think it’s utterly wrenching that Fuyuko can’t speak, both given how she relies so much on her voice both for the Banshee Cry and in her interactions with others, as well as how her former student is responsible for it. I also like the explanation we get of the establishment of the Heaven Sent - this means a lot more now than it would have at the beginning, so I can’t say I dislike its placement in the narrative.
Hm, I really liked the first 3/4 of this ending. But, as I neared the end, I realized I was not sure if Haruhi was dead or alive, or what even happened to her after she became consumed by darkness - I definitely needed more closure there, even if it was only a few words about what Fuyuko knew of Haruhi at this point in time.
As to the overarching thought of the sequence: I don’t think the ending feels contrived, and I was a big fan of how you explored the central themes of WCS: faith, surrender to darkness, family, sacrifice, the hero’s journey. The story particularly hits its stride in the last three chapters - starting from when Haruhi actively considers the dark side. A lot of stylistic choices you made as far as narrative and story structure make even more sense in retrospect, and I’d say you have quite the fine piece of work here. If there’s anything you want more thoughts on, let me know, and best of luck with editing.
Congratulations again :)
| SoSaysL chapter 11 . 12/24/2018
WHAT has just happened?
This is a great feeling. Every story should make you stop and question what is happening in this way.
You know what? I definitely didn’t see this one coming. I really thought that Haruhi was growing, and maturing, and so on and so forth. I was trying to figure out how this would end - and while I definitely had my suspicions about Haruhi, I had eventually dismissed them and figured she would grow into a hero. And now she’s literally using all the fruit for herself and being best friends with these Shoyu-Sha, why am I even surprised.
That is to say: wow, you definitely delivered.
And it is kind of terrifying to see how thoroughly the world has broken Haruhi. I would say that perhaps her mentors have asked too much from her throughout her journey - especially by withholding the truth about her sister’s fate.
Meta-thoughts: I think the overall structure of the story could better foreshadow that something like this would be the endgame. I want to meet Aki and see why she is so special to Haruhi that she is worth the entire world, or get more foreshadowing about Fuyuko’s banshee capabilities (even if it is through some jokes or side plot, etc).
In particular, I often found myself searching for some sort of driving narrative to lead me through the first part of the story - maybe that Haruhi knows she is supposed to fulfill X particular duty, and first she must see the world so she can be of better service to her people. That is, Haruhi (and I) should have an existing preconceived notion of her role in how this will all end (or is supposed to end in the best possible world where everything works out perfectly), making her downfall even more bitter to read. I also think Haruhi should show hints of this “sacrifice one for the many” attitude earlier in a previous mission, so we really see this as an echo of her character. Many thoughts (and perhaps some ramblings), take what is useful to your story.
But seriously, high-five! I honestly could not believe that Haruhi fell so far so fast,
| SoSaysL chapter 10 . 12/24/2018
First let’s take care of the typo report: stray enter here - “did not guarantee immunity to the Shoyu-Sha”
Ah yes, the chapter in which Haruhi literally makes a deal with the devil. What’s a story if you don’t have your protagonist strike an agreement with the actual forces of darkness?
But honestly, I am so glad you went there. Because it seems to me that authors are afraid to dirty the hands of their heroes - that those who belong to the good will never shake hands with those from the “evil” side. There's a lot of interesting ground in that moral grey zone that I am glad you decided to explore. The plot has thickened! And so Haruhi is trying to save her sister at all costs.
Here’s my question - I’m still not clear on the specifics of what occurred, and I’m not sure if this is intentional. Is Haruhi going to take her sister’s place as an Absolution and work with the Shoyu-Sha so that they a) kill those with the plague and b) don't keep spreading the plague? Because I think there may be some dangerous things in the fine print.
And also, since you’re going to set up a sacrifice on Haruhi’s part, it’s especially nice that you foreshadowed with all these letters in the beginning. I feel, if anything, you could benefit from adding even more emotional bits throughout the letters that underscore just how much Haruhi cares for her sister.
Ho ho, this is the first chapter where I see the endgame coming and I like where it’s going -
| SoSaysL chapter 9 . 12/24/2018
The idea of this Amethyst Cost was very poetic and immersing (as was your writing in this chapter) - I almost wanted to visit it myself (well, if there was no plague lurking around that is).
Beautiful chapter - one of my favorites, in particular because it plays on your strengths as a writer: creating atmosphere, self-reflection, discussing difficult subjects. Gaba as a character is well-written and I really like her - there is a certain strength required to carry on and treat the sick when you yourself are suffering from the plague.
Fuyuko as the banshee? Oh dear, this is an intriguing set-up. I really love Fuyuko’s character and am having a difficult time imagining her predicting someone’s death to their face. In any case, I am very interested in this ensuing conversation between Haruhi and Fuyuko.
Some other thoughts - first, how doesn’t Haruhi get the plague? True, it may be that she may be resistant due to genetics, or divinely shielded, or this may be explained later. Second, in many cases withholding an info dump works really well because when you do give information, it’s incredibly rewarding and means a lot - the true sword types of Haruhi and her sister, for example - but at the same time I feel that I need to know more about the underlying rules of this world.
But, I will say that Haruhi as a Dauntless (as you’ve described it) makes a lot of sense - in fact, carrying on has literally been what she is doing thus far. Although I am wondering just what she is saving this fruit for... when she does eventually use it, what will make the lives she saves worth more than those she does not?
Also, have you thought about the titles of your chapters? This is purely a matter of style, but toss some ideas around as far as chapter titles go - I think you could really make a point and/or effectively divide Haruhi’s journey into parts with these chapter titles if you wanted. As it is the titles are good, but I think they could be even better. Food for thought, food for thought-
| SoSaysL chapter 8 . 12/24/2018
So, favoring completion instead of thoroughness, I will offer you feedback. If there’s anything in particular you would like thoughts on, let me know- otherwise, here’s what I’ve got from this chapter.
Really like your use of atmosphere, I definitely get a sense of place from your writing especially in the first 1/2 of the chapter.
I also liked your treatment of Haruhi and Hitsuki’s reunion, I found it sweet and touching. You have a way of handling emotional beats (ex. he couldn’t get it out between the laughter and the tears) that doesn’t go overboard, but says just enough.
This may be because I often try to demand as little as possible from the reader (as far as character and place names go) or because I merely don’t remember, but I had to stop and re-read the Kurtz’s introduction to figure out who was being introduced and what exactly was going on. Wanted to offer a general thought for when you’re editing - you may want to simplify plot lines/the number of characters you introduce just to build more meaningful networks with the ones you have.
Stray punctuation here - Picked up on something Hitsuki hadn’t?[”]
Also, after a quick Google search, I think it should be “each other” instead of “eachother”
I was highly entertained by this discussion on faith, especially when Kaln is discussing how his ruler plans to see what these Eastern peoples have to offer and “spare them from invasion”. Very relevant commentary on colonialism, and it has a touch of levity to it that I enjoyed reading. One thing you may want to iron out later is the motivation that Kaln has for suggesting to Haruhi she may be a god—I was left wondering what exactly he believes, and why he believes it, and what his real motivations are for challenging Haruhi in this way. I also like what you’ve done with his character and his unassuming manner, which contrast how he so easily unsettles Haruhi at the end.
Also, what a pithy and brilliant comeback! Nice, Haruhi.
The internal dialogue Haruhi has on faith was also well-done, I think. I like how she hasn’t thought about this before - so it’s as if she’s tracing lines she hasn’t fully thought out herself - but if anything, I would want to see what she has learned about earlier, the key components of the religion, perhaps near the beginning of her journey. Hm. Maybe I should go back and see if I can find something about how the Sent were appointed in the first case, because now I’m wondering.
Great work and catch you later~
| SoSaysL chapter 7 . 10/7/2018
Hey hey! I reappear again, here to review the next episode of Haruhi’s adventures~
I like this summary a lot more than the old one; it sets up a hero’s journey, hints at a conflict (both internal and external, although you could hint more at the external conflict) and gives us a heroine. If anything, I would reword the last section to make the “bad” possibility worse - arguably the worst possibility is not merely Haruhi retreating back into herself, but falling to despair, or finding herself unable to help those around her or even herself, or meeting one of the not-good fates that Natsudo foresees. Either way, the “bad” possibilities are quite dire.
I really like the passage where Haruhi settles into the routine of rice farming - very atmospheric and deceptively calming, as it were. Haruhi has become more thoughtful, more pensive. I don’t think the Haruhi of the first chapters would have ever admitted that she liked rice farming, and certainly not to actually enjoying manual labor in the fields. It’s a particularly clear indication of just how much she has changed that her instinctive response to Natsudo’s presence is to apologize for not moving faster; before she might have snapped at the unknown person for standing too close. And once Natsudo appears, the reader (like Haruhi) realizes fully that her role as Heaven-Sent is something that will follow her forever, even should she wish she had another life.
It might just be me and my fondness for Fuyuuko’s character, but I kind of want to know her reaction to the events of the previous chapter, and perhaps a hint about what she herself has been up to. On one hand I really like the way the beginning of the chapter unfolds and think it very poetic, but I also am searching for some “debriefing” between Haruhi and Fuyuuko - some acknowledgement between them, some recognition of what Haruhi has endured.
And the sequence where Haruhi reaches for what’s happened the past summer and is left with no details, only the echoes of responsibility and grief - is that because she has /actually/ repressed the details of what has happened? I found myself alarmed there, and maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but a wound like that will be deeply damaging. If she can’t work through it with others or on her own, I feel almost certain a Shoyu-Sha could reopen those wounds at an inopportune if not dangerous time.
One of my favorite moments in the chapter is when Natsudo admits to Haruhi that he knows there is a perfect set of words he could use to explain himself, but he knows he has not reached them. And this has a lot of implications for how we understand divine foresight in this world. The way you’ve written Natsudo almost aligns with the idea of multiple potential outcomes, but only one true timeline. We move from past to future, and from our given timepoint many futures are possible. With the information we have, we make the best choices we can, effectively restricting the futures we have available. And that’s the idea of time I see Natsudo presenting—and it’s particularly effective in creating narrative tension, because it legitimizes the idea that these Heaven Sent could /actually/ fail. There is no prophesied future, only potential futures. If anything, I would encourage you to expand on this further, because Natsudo has been established as someone whose judgment is to be trusted—when he looks worried, the reader knows that perhaps they should be worried too.
Aw, Fuyuuko and Natsudo have nicknames for each other! It also lets me know that they probably went on a few adventures together in the past (all practicality aside, do I see a ship materializing in the distance?). If this was a show, I could definitely envision a “flashback episode” when we cut to a brief interlude of Fuyuuko and Natsudo going on some mission together several years ago. Still, I’m with Haruhi on the changes in Fuyuuko’s character being surprising.
The conversation between Fuyuuko and Natsudo is great, but I think the lead-up to Haruhi and Natsudo’s confrontation could be clarified/reworked a bit, since the disagreement between them is a little bit hazy to me (although all this is preference, so take or leave as you will).
“…an ongoing potential disaster.” Ha, I actually chuckled. Perhaps my earlier predictions about Fuyuuko being concerned with Haruhi’s volatility might be transferred to Natsudo instead. Fuyuuko, for her part, seems to have faith in both of the other Sent.
Great atmospheric writing, and also nice work with the section on the blades holding the memories of the previous wielders. It feels very organic to this world, and fits naturally with the lore you’ve woven into the story so far. Also, now that I think about it, is Haruhi’s mother the only one who survived that battle? But it was three generations ago. Does that mean she came by here later, was ambushed by a Shoyu-Sha or something else (because that area does seem to be one of danger), and left her sword behind? Or did someone else bring her sword here…?
Ah, I’m going to stop theorizing now and get back to actually analyzing.
Whoa. That trick Natsudo pulls is not great. He is a Heaven-Sent, after all. And I think it speaks to his absolute faith in the abstract - his all-consuming belief that the world abides by these governing concepts that will ensure this blade does not kill him. Overall Natsudo is a well-drawn character - his introduction is fitting for his identity as prophet, and I like his doubt and acknowledgement that his power is limited. Human, indeed.
It’s interesting that Fuyuuko sees Haruhi’s change in character as potentially a matter of losing her identity. There is a certain bittersweetness in how Haruhi has grown older, and matured as the storyline progresses. After all, this was what the journey was for, wasn’t it? Even now, Haruhi finds herself outpaced at times by Fuyuuko’s emotional intelligence (the short-term reads, as it were), but she’s learned to become more measured, more careful, and milder - all of these are things that come with age. Looking forward to seeing what she becomes (and I am less concerned now, a little after the midway point, that she will find herself meaningfully tempted by Shoyu-Sha or corruption, although that remains to be seen…)
The sentence “After all, why not use the most readily available example after searching through the fields,” is a little awkward - perhaps put a question mark on the end of that, or rephrase slightly?
But the lovely writing at the end about lingering darkness in the blades, promises broken and vows unfulfilled, and Haruhi’s struggle with her own helplessness more than makes up for it.
So ordinarily this should be a big revelation, and it is - but I feel that I don’t know bough about Haruhi’s mother for this to come in as big a surprise as it should have been. It may also be that you have done the necessary foreshadowing and I have just missed it - but even a few sentences to remind us of how Haruhi’s mother met an honorable death in battle, or sacrificed her life for this cause, etc. would make this last sentence a lot more shocking and carry more weight.
Haruhi’s mother may have switched her moral code in a way that seems to compromise the ideals of the Heaven-Sent. Alternatively, she may have gone on a long journey which she believes is the only way to save her world. There must be a reason she hasn’t returned home, a reason her family believes she is dead. And here’s the real mystery: why is her sword at this graveyard?
It is this that leads me to suspect she has abandoned the way of the Soul Sabre in some surprising way. Because, under what circumstances would she not need that weapon if she still fought for their cause?
Natsudo might know something about the future that is highly demoralizing, that he hasn’t shared with either Fuyuuko or Haruhi. He also directly stated that many of the possibilities he foresees involve Haruhi’s death, and right in front of her at that. I can’t help but wonder if the weariness in his eyes is partially due to the futures he sees for himself, and/or for the world. Seeing your own demise looking you in the face can't be particularly reassuring. Either way, I’m definitely expecting some prophecy bombshells to be dropped in later chapters.
I am growing more and more attached to these characters. Here’s to hoping Haruhi makes it through all these trials with her identity and happiness intact, that Natsudo will find himself at peace with the future he sees, and, of course, all the best for Fuyuuko. Until next time,
| SoSaysL chapter 6 . 9/22/2018
On this week’s episode of Haruhi and Fuyuuko’s adventures, “Haruhi becomes a military captain!”
I can’t help but notice the... almost self-important tone Haruhi is taking on in this letter to her sister. She describes herself “well-qualified” to cull wrong, and I do not think the Haruhi who set out on this journey would have said the same. Also, now that I read the letter after finishing the chapter, it is terribly ironic. Look at all that subtle foreshadowing! Based on those hints, I should have realized something like this was going to happen...
So you flesh out your fantasy world gradually and carefully, without overwhelming us with information (taking notes here). Here are some questions that come to mind: how did the different sword types arise, and do certain kinds of people tend to wield certain swords (coming back to this one later, the answer seems to be yes)? Also, are Western and Eastern in this world a parallel to the Western and Eastern in ours, and to what extent? Like, Haruhi is a distinctly Japanese name and yet I remember her being described as blonde in previous chapters, so my curious self is wondering about that as well.
Another great quote: “Humanity, as it turned out, was not an exciting quality for a prophesied savior.” I would love to hear a humorous account about people’s ideals being shattered when they find out Haruhi is not a mystical being.
I’m not sure about the jar-over-the-head metaphor (about the Type-5 dauntless wielder), your touch is usually very delicate with metaphors and descriptions, and yet here it doesn’t quite fit. Maybe rework here?
Brilliant. I really like the point that demons win their battles not when you are ready for them, but when you are not... that is, in long shadows of doubt and despair. It’s fitting for the world you’ve built, and sets this dark, foreboding aura in which combatants must be aware and continuously on their guard... which, of course, is very exhausting. We all have our moments of doubt and weakness, that is what it means to be human. And the false alarms you’ve built into the text (the fireflies, the wagon wheels) emphasize this as well. I just want to say the way demons do battle here with the Soul Sabres is fantastic, highly unsettling, and (I think) bears some great insights into human psychology too.
Now that I think about it after finishing the chapter, actually, the rumbling of wagon wheels was an announcement of the Shoyu-Sha. Because that was the beginning of the end, wasn’t it? That food introduced the Midnight Plague, which brought such suffering that the Shoyu-Sha found their task much easier. And the thing is, Haruhi picks up on the strangeness of this cargo. She realizes something is off, and yet says nothing because there is no proof. And, subconsciously, she saves herself; she doesn’t eat any of it, and keeps watch instead. Before going to bed, she notices that the girl before her looks like a body arranged for burial. Not only is this great foreshadowing, but I think it shows how Haruhi has become more perceptive, warier and wiser, from experience. She is better able to detect danger, even if her conscious mind tells her it is nothing to worry about. Perhaps someday this intuition of hers will become strong enough for her to save not only herself, but act in time to save those around her.
Definitely on edge while reading the passage when Haruhi is woken up in the middle of the night. I am totally unsure what to think and definitely jumping at shadows. It’s like playing Where’s Waldo, but instead I’m trying to figure out Where’s the Shoyu-Sha. I’m immediately suspecting this boy of something, although Haruhi seems to be less worried about the situation than I am.
Crow is digging graves? Oof, it’s even more impactful because it’s so understated. He’s so matter-of-fact about accepting his fate that it’s difficult to read. And did they ever burn that cart? If not, the exact same scenario could repeat again, that’s the real tragedy here...
I want you to know I actually quit writing notes for a bit because I was so invested in Haruhi’s face-off with this demon. All the tension in this chapter came to a head, all the shadows finally appeared in broad daylight, and it is chilling to see how the end plays out. Heringer has been presented as someone we trust, and so to see her fall to the demon is quite the shock. She had not been infected with the Midnight Plague (perhaps she, too, did not think the food particularly trustworthy) and so there was a chance for her, perhaps she could have been saved. I wonder if the pain she felt from seeing her friends slowly dying was what allowed the Shoyu-Sha to draw near...
Oh no... so Haruhi tried to save Heringer, but it didn’t work... was this because Heringer didn’t want to be saved? Or (and I only thought of this later), did Haruhi save Heringer, who managed to protect Haruhi until she herself was overwhelmed by Shoyu-Sha? Both possibilities are equally bleak.
But I’m not sure where Haruhi stands on this spectrum, yet: I think one day she will have to choose; do you save those close to you or do you save who would be practical? I suspect younger Haruhi would have been very annoyed with the idea that you must be utilitarian with which lives you prioritize. And yet, when she wakes up, she is agitated at the thought her camp members might have taken the decennial fruit to save themselves; inaction is action, and so she hadn’t even told them of its existence. My suspicion is that Haruhi will eventually find herself on the more practical end of the spectrum, because that is where she seems to be heading now.
So... it seems to me that the Midnight Plague causes horrible suffering, and the Shoyu-Sha find those who suffer and offer them peace—to die a not-so-horrible death, as it were. But what I am unclear about is, if Shoyu-Sha cannot die from the Midnight Plague, do those who are infected with the Midnight Plague and succumb to them die normal deaths, or become Shoyu-Sha themselves (with golden eyes and such)? This is just me being curious again, but I am fascinated by the idea of the Shoyu-Sha, and hope to see more expansion/exploration on these ideas.
In her small little Stinger existence, the Type-2 girl didn’t have to worry about saving [the] world...
“I offer to end your comrades[’[ pain...”
Huzzah, CG, we’ve both written stories about demons with golden eyes! Wonderful work here, and I really like what you’ve done with the tense and chilling atmosphere, the concept of surrendering to darkness (via the Shoyu-Sha), and the evolving role Haruhi plays in her world. I sure hope we get to see Fuyuuko again, and wonder if her adventures have gone any better...
And until next time,
| Aviantei chapter 12 . 8/27/2018
Look at that, part twelve right on time for the end of lenience week. Well done! Congrats on a successful admin run this summer. Yay us!
I’ll admit, this wasn’t what I was expecting when it came to the closing part. We see some consequences of the past few chapters and set up intrigue for main Akikaze! (I particularly like that this started with a return letter from Aki to show how she’s been), but something feels missing to call it a complete closer.
I mean, on a technical level it does what it needs to to leave things open, but I suppose that something seems a little off about not even seeing Haruhi around for this one. Then again, it could just be me.
A fine use of Aki’s Flower book to give hope and leave the way open for the spring. Now, just when can we expect Akikaze! in full?
I’m kidding, naturally. Hopefully we can see you more active on Discord and stuff soon. We miss your presence.
Once more, excellent work putting together almost 100k worth of content over these past three months. Maybe we’ll see this kind of progress on Hybrid before the year’s end?
Glad to have taken this journey with you,
| Aviantei chapter 11 . 8/25/2018
Alright, part eleven is here! Nice work, CG! Would it be too much for me to say you still have two days left on lenience week so get to it?
This was an intense part all around, from the sort of dread permeating the atmosphere to Haruhi’s...misguided intentions. It was also a nice change of pace to have more Fuyuuko perspective to help flesh out the conflicts going on in this city. Very fitting of a climax chapter I’ll say.
On that POV note, I know you use the kanji to help signal who’s the focus character, but the second scene was a bit delayed in asserting itself at Fuyuuko’s experience and not possibly what’s been happening with Haruhi. It cleared itself up farther in, but I was a bit lost for a substantial chunk.
From there, though, the rest of the piece flowed smoothly (save for some typos which are understandable given the scope of this piece). The reflections on how Haruhi’s changed were well woven into the narrative without breaking up the flow, plus the struggle elicited the sort of pain of watching comrades facing off on each other.
Despite all that, you pulled together an ending that doesn’t break away the darkness completely, but instead plants that seed of hope. And spring, after all, is when seeds finally come into bloom.
You’re almost there. Keep pushing onward,
| Aviantei chapter 10 . 8/17/2018
Look at that! A mid-week Winter Crossed Spring update as CG works to getting back on track! You’ve already accomplished 10, what’s two more? Since I’m actually caught up with everything in my browser for now, let’s keep it clean by dropping off a review.
I’ll say that out of all the pieces, this one feels the most like a chapter as opposed to a one shot. Am I complaining? No, just noting the difference in arc that has less complete resolution than the others. Makes you tense and ready for the next part.
I was not expecting the outcome of this piece in the slightest. You’ve done a nice job tying in the previous elements to these piece and pulling things forward as Haruhi reaches closer to what I assume is her personal climax. Bonus points for making the Shou-sha creepy as hell.
Additional notes on a well constructed scenery and environment. You are far more accomplished than I when it comes to fleshing out an original world and it’s different cultures. It feels like the world building in Avatar in a way (and I obviously mean that as a compliment).
With that cliffhanger, I must say that I’m eagerly awaiting the next entry (“Give me a break,” CG says, wanting a rest, I assume). I have some guesses as to how the next piece will play out, but nothing concrete. I am hoping that the closing entry allows for Haruhi and Aki to see each other face to face at the very least...
Waiting to see you complete the Prompt-dex,
| Aviantei chapter 9 . 8/14/2018
Alright, I’m at last caught up with all current T-Sauce reviews. Just gotta sort this one out first.
This piece really excelled with the unusually colored scenery along with the great use of emotional depth. We encounter the plague here in a more intimate situation then our previous encounters, and Haruhi spends her time facing the thing that seems to be the cause of a lot of world and personal troubles.
The last rites with Cork was unexpected, but ended up being a piece of resolution that was well needed in retrospect. Besides tying up some of the conflict Haruhi’s faced in the past, we also get some not so pleasant foreshadowing on the fates of the Ryuen sisters. Way to build up hype for main Akikaze!
Also mad props for that last line tying together scene and theme in one fell swoop. It’s a powerful image to end on.
I’m guessing that next piece will delve into Gaba’s report and some consequences of it! We’ve entered Haruhi’s final year of pilgrimage here, so you’ve just gotta keep writing and see it to the end.
May you carve out the time to bring this collection to its completion,
| Aviantei chapter 8 . 8/12/2018
Alright next up. I definitely enjoy Hitsuki’s return in this one. Not so say I haven’t enjoyed the time with Haruhi and co., but I definitely think Hitsuki is a character that falls into some of my favorite lines. So naturally it’s nice to see him return.
Haruhi’s growth continues to take its very moderate pace. It’s nice to see progress, but it does make you wish she’d start to open up more, especially considering we’re at the two year mark of her journey. Still, I think you’re giving her a very realistic growth, especially for her personality, so kudos for that.
Once more, I appreciate the bringing in if another world culture and seeing more of the global layout. We start to enter some tough spiritual questions for Haruhi here, and she faces them with a sort of trepidation.
I like the closing scene that sort of affirms her position, but in a very subtle way. It’s a nice relaxing moment that lets Haruhi have a little resolution without big dramatic consequences necessary to get there. The girl needs a little break.
I’ll be doing my best to review chapter 9 soon, and I hope you get the chance to write some more. There’s still plenty of time left in summer, CG. Write on.
| Aviantei chapter 7 . 8/12/2018
I somehow didn’t have chapter seven open in a tab, so apologies for the delay. That just means I’ll be dropping in two reviews today...
With that being said, I’m glad we finally get to meet Natsudo. I also like that the letters allude to Aki’s own growth in the background. She’ll come and take her spotlight one of these days...
In any event, it’s nice to see this different side to Fuyuuko. It’s also interesting to watch the ways she and Natsudo serve as foils to each other in accordance to their seasons. Will we see more of their dynamic later on?
With that in mind, those were the two elements that stuck out most to me about this chapter, in addition to the revelation to Haruhi and Aki’s mother stop being alive. I’m looking forward to where the journey goes next.
| Aviantei chapter 6 . 8/1/2018
Well this is certainly another show of both lack of and professing development on Haruhi’s part. She’s still dealing with the conflict of whether or not to use the fruit, but this time she got closer to using it. Even if the decision came at a time where it didn’t have an effect, she still made the choice. A fitting midpoint for this collection.
While this piece didn’t have as high a level of action in it as others, it did give us a glimpse of the Shou-sha (if I misspelled, apologies), which are decidedly dreadful creatures. Besides the plague, they’re a nasty piece of work to deal with it seems.
These are my two big stand out points, though much more went down in this piece than just that. I’ll just add that, you were right, and Haruhi certainly is an antisocial thing, isn’t she?
I’ll see you around,
| Aviantei chapter 5 . 7/24/2018
Okay, another Avi review? It’s not a dream! Here we go!
I very much liked getting to see Fuyuuko’s perspective in more depth here. We’ve had bits before, but I think having her POV allowed us to start to feel a bit more connected to her. We don’t know everything yet, but we know a bit more than before, and that certainly helps.
Props on setting details. I very much like the sequence at the end when they make it through the Forgotten Works. Lots of nice, simple details that really give that feeling of life after being trapped in the dark.
I do like Haruhi and Fuyuuko’s conversations this chapter, too. It’s nice to see a bit more of a bond forming. Look, Haruhi! You can open up to people if you try!
Definitely a solid piece this entry, no doubt. Keep it up, and I’ll see you in the chapter six review when time allows!