|Reviews for Unfamiliar Power|
| Ckh chapter 3 . 6/27
A chapter with solid dialogue. The conversations between Mar and co. feel natural, making the the chapter flow nicely. The way Mar treats her first day in prison as though another day at school really shows how desensitized she is to all the BS in this world. The writing continues to be strong too. Well done.
gone instead of gotten
Hey eyes instead of "her eyes..."
And some other stuff I missed.
| PaperAirplane chapter 3 . 6/25
Ooh Death Lord, I love a good villain name!
| marisnotmyname chapter 2 . 6/22
I like how you keep the readers on cliffhangers in both the chapters, I am intrigued about this chapter. I can also certainly see a huge improvement in description and detailing, keep going!
I also found Margaret’s character build very interesting, and special. She has humour and pride in her. I think it’s one of those characters where they go far, but learn a lot along the way, still not leaving their ego and pride behind. Good job.
| marisnotmyname chapter 1 . 6/22
It’s an awesome start. I would like more description on things so that it can be more clear to the readers, but it’s an interesting start.
| CyberPunkFan2001 chapter 2 . 6/22
I can truthfully say that you are on a path that will probably lead you to become an epic writer. While I wish my stories would get these numbers of reviews, you truly deserve them :P
| Dark-Fire-Eyes chapter 2 . 6/21
Thank you to all! Although, I can't PM some of you for whatever reason? I think it may be if you did it on mobile or something...regardless, I thank you for all your wonderful reviews!
| Nerd90 chapter 1 . 6/18
This is really amazing! I want to know what happens later on, and It’s A Great way to capture the reader’s interest so they can keep reading.
| Nameless90 chapter 2 . 6/18
I’ve read the first chapter, and I can say this one is even better. I like how you add lots of dialogs, but also inner thoughts and description.
| Destruction101 chapter 2 . 6/18
It’s pretty interesting, the plot line, cause it’s practically unpredictable. I suppose she will thrown in jail, but who’s to know?
| Ma12345 chapter 2 . 6/18
I really liked Margaret’s humour, it made my day ya! I wanna know what happens next, can’t wait for the next chapter!
| Kittypower chapter 1 . 6/18
This is certainly a good ending to a chapter. The only thing that I feel you should move more slowly, ya know it feels as if I’m just zipping through time really quick. Overall, I love it. Great job!
| Layla1023 chapter 1 . 6/18
I really love it! I think this a great start, keep writing!
| Ckh chapter 2 . 6/19
I have to admit, the MC's bluntness is charming. Your smooth writing carries on from the previous chapter. Trucker on, friend.
| Kitsune95 chapter 2 . 6/18
Interesting. You end on a good, suspenseful note, I think, too.
Good job with this chapter. Keep writing :)
| Ckh chapter 1 . 6/16
A solid beginning. Everything feels real and tense, the short sentences helping to punctuate the ruthlessly of this world the story is set in. This is really, really good, what a first chapter should be. You even have a nice o' cliffhanger. Nice.
"Even still glare at her" should work better as "Even glare at her". Cut out the still or even. They feel kinda excessive. But thats just my take.