Reviews for An American Family
AquaEclipse chapter 13 . 8/17
Oh. The Vietnam War. Oh. PTSD is going to be brought up as well, isn't it?
AquaEclipse chapter 4 . 8/17
Ah, yes, the Cold War, and (eventually? not sure about the year) Berlin Wall. :(
AquaEclipse chapter 2 . 8/17
This story really started on a simplistic note, but as I scrolled through the chapters' table of contents (that's the best I can call it), I know things are going to be picking up eventually. Civil rights movement, I'd assume? I'm quite sure that the contrast is going to be great as the story goes on. Let us hope that these children born of the baby boomer generation do not act like the "boomers" we call out online, if they live long enough to see the 2010s.
addledwalrus chapter 32 . 10/24/2019
I found that flashback a bit confusing. Was there something I missed earlier in this story?
addledwalrus chapter 31 . 10/11/2019
Toni's views on mental health seem to be ahead of her time.
The Cybersmith chapter 1 . 9/18/2019
I read Guy Mitchell and now I have Heartaches By the Number stuck in my head again.
addledwalrus chapter 30 . 9/17/2019
What language was Erika speaking? And what did her words translate to?
addledwalrus chapter 29 . 8/29/2019
Erika and Yuri from Beshert?
addledwalrus chapter 28 . 8/20/2019
It seems a bit coincidental for Max to get a glimpse of that historical event the moment he arrives.
T.L. Chasse chapter 1 . 8/11/2019
Hi Sweetladyjane,

I've been away from Fictionpress for a while, but am just coming back. I had followed you a while back, so I've been seeing your updates. This is the first time I've come back to read them, though. Where do these girls live? Are you from the south?

I like your characters and your easy writing style. :)
addledwalrus chapter 27 . 8/9/2019
It seems a bit selfish of Max to leave at a time like that, especially when Laura is suffering just as much.

Also, pretty apathetic of Paul to just entrust Max's wellbeing to an entity like God. He could have at least actively tried to do something for his son.
addledwalrus chapter 26 . 7/24/2019
I think you could have been more descriptive about the funeral and what everyone was going through.
addledwalrus chapter 25 . 7/4/2019
Goddamn it, Stephen. You deserved so much better.

With that out of the way, a big flaw that I find in your writing is the way you make things happen too quickly and don't really explore in enough detail how certain events will impact the characters. For example, while I'm pretty sad about what has happened to Stephen, I'm not feeling like there's enough depth to Laura's grief/loss.

I'll try not to be a hypocrite and admit that I have also been guilty of that at times, especially in my older stories.
addledwalrus chapter 24 . 6/20/2019
I hope Stephen is just in a deep sleep.
addledwalrus chapter 23 . 6/5/2019
You've had pretty promising characters so far, but I think it would do you well to maybe pad events out some more. Things are progressing very rapidly at the moment and the frequent time skips may not give readers enough of a chance to connect to the story or characters.

That aside, I believe that you might have mixed up tenses in the first sentence of this chapter.
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