Just found this story tonight and caught up on reading. Very interesting! I really enjoy the tone of your writing, and the emotions and motivations of Peter are really easy to understand and feel. I'm interested to see where this story goes. As much fun as the smut is, I can't help but craving some good ol' fashion justice; maybe I've just been in too many similar one-sided relationships! Thanks for the story so far.

Hi,
so, i binge read all the chapters about yesterday. Still am kinda sad from them. At first i really thought it would be just an unusual high school romance story, and i'm not saying 'just' in a bad way - i think i actually preferred that. I really like Peter, i enjoyed him being kinda confident and normal and nice. And he's still that, he's just so heartbreakingly lifeless now, like Simon already kinda killed him. It's not like this kind of outcome wasn't conceivable from the start, with the vary guarded way Simon was acting, but i don't know - i kinda hoped since it was a story, his actions coud have another explanation or that some better guy would come up, or whatever, just so it could end sweet and well and all that. I guess it still can, i have no idea what you're planning, and i'm definitely gonna follow this story as it progresses. just that. now it feels like it's tearing my heart little by little.

I need to say, i really liked the way you depicted high school and the events with Angela. It probably has to do with how believable Peter appears - everything about how he perceived the world seemed just natural. And it gave the 'unique' edge to the story - that in the midst supernatural events that first seemed kinda funny, then just unsetteling, then downright scary (that progression also seemed quite notable!) - his focus remained on Simon, and it is unusual for me to like the main hero so much since the 'careabout' vibes are usually reserved for the main hero's love intrest, and... i don't know. This story really stuck to me. But i hope there's not gonna be much more torture, and loneliness, and coldness for Peter. He's a really strong and good guy who deserves to shine and be happy, and i just can't see it without Simon 'turning good' so i hope it happens..

I’m sorry too...I’m not sure why there’s been a lack of reviews, because it’s definitely a great story...but I do wonder if maybe you should consider putting it on Ao3?

It’s just a suggestion, but I know there’s a lot of people that have moved pretty much solely to Archive because they dislike the way FP and FF are run, maybe putting it on there might get you some more hits? It’s also got the Kudos button which is a good way to see those who are too shy to leave a review!

Anyhow! Peter, honey, I love you, you are adorable, and kind, and brave, and largely quite cunning and insightful, which makes it all the harder for me to accept that you are getting limited sleep in a shack with a vampire who has literally been sent there to kill you and has said he will do so as soon as you become boring.

Peter it’s time to buy a house in the countryside, landscape a series of streams surrounding your garden that lead to a salt ring and a garlic farm with a pool of holy water in the centre, all surrounded by hundreds of acres of ash trees that have mechanisms in the branches that can scatter poppy seeds on the ground. There should also be a fence made out of crucifixes. It may be a point to inquire about the state of relations between (and existence of) werewolves and vampires and see about hiring some to patrol the grounds if possible. It’s the only way to escape Vlad.

Also, yes, Simon is definitely a MCR kinda guy. Though I’d argue that Peter is slowly slipping into the ‘I’m Not Okay (I Promise)’ area. He’s so easily pleased, he’s literally going to die and is happy. I can only pray he has a latent werewolf gene or...like witch ancestor, or maybe a long lost Hunter Uncle that can save him when the time comes. That being said until that time comes Peter, you better make the most of your dream Boi, because I doubt this will last.

Ooh, so Simon makes a real appearance? Also I so felt the mood when Peter came to the conclusion that if Simon wanted to kill him he’d be dead already, also, Vlad, pls no. Let’s be fair here, Angela was a bit of a reckless one. As far as I’m concerned it was her own fault.

Also that was a bit cryptic in the end, ‘I found something interesting in you. I had no idea it was there.’ Now...that could be a personality thing, but it could also be something else, something perhaps he notices because he’s a vampire now, and not necessarily just because he’s back. I will have to see where this takes me, I am hanging on the edge of my seat!

Oh no. No, no, no. Footprints in the house dude. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS. Simon seems...different, I mean I suppose turning into a vampire does wonders for confidence, but from the brief ‘dreams’ Peter has of him, I can definitely see the impact whatever happened to him has had. Now for the real question SIMON WHY ARE YOU BACK?

ALSO MIST. COME ON NOW. I have a feeling this is going to be an extreme rollercoaster of emotions.

Nice descriptions of the new town Peter's moved to. The dull, dreary, wet surroundings seem to echo his state of mind. Even the color of his shirt conveys a sense of depression. Compared to how he started out at the beginning of this story as a high schooler - not the most cheerful, but still displaying the buoyancy of youth - the changes he's had to go through as an adult are startling and concerning.

I also like how you describe dreams. Choppy, with a sense of listlessness that usually occurs in deep sleep. Peter still dreams about Simon and it's evident that he's gone to great lengths to put the past behind him. Especially as evidenced in his nursing career, a care-giver as opposed to the death he witnessed years ago.

I loved this line: 'love is more haunting than monsters'. It hit me as soon as I read it and lingered for a while, inserting itself into the bleakness of Peter's narration. As a adult, it rings so very true.

Lastly, I wonder if Simon appearing in Peter's dream at the end is foreshadowing. I can't remember if this is true of Dracula, but some vampiric lore describes them as being able to enter and manipulate dreams. If this is true for poor Peter, his peaceful, if dull, life is about to be brutally upended.

Well, Peter is definitely a changed person here. He's been betrayed by the boy he crushed on and he's lost a good friend. His despair, fueling his focus to hunt down and end Angela's undead life was conveyed well through action and thought.

I liked the opening line. It was abrupt and unexpected, but it drove home the stark contrast of time passing and how much of a change Peter has gone through in that short period.

I also liked the closing paragraph. Peter's narration is exhausted, given all that he's been through and the short choppy sentences convey that effectively. Especially the last line 'To normality'.

Overall, I liked this take on the horror genre. You wrote realistic characters and made me root for them, feel for them and feel just as betrayed as Peter with how Simon led him. As it doesn't seem to be the end of their story, I wonder when and how their lives will intersect again.

Good job!

I really liked this description: 'Angela drifted upward like a quiet balloon'. It's pretty, but also eerie in context of the event. In fact, I quite like the descriptions of Angela floating in the air throughout this chapter. It's quite rare - in my limited reading experience, admittedly - to read descriptions of vampires airborne.

One minor correction: 'who's' was incorrectly used instead of 'whose' in one sentence. Who's is used as a contraction of 'who is', while 'whose' denotes possession of something.

I'm actually not that surprised at Simon's sudden declaration of wanting to join the Undead. What has been shown of his life seems to be bereft of love and family comfort. He feels left out as a result and doesn't believe he can go on trying to assimilate into mainstream society.

Though, this doesn't make it easier for Peter to accept. I really felt bad that he had to go through such heartbreak in these circumstances. After having sex with Simon and accompanying him on his investigation throughout, it's completely understandable that he feels portrayed. It makes me wonder how things will go from here.

(From one writer to another, it absolutely sucks to not receive reviews or any type of feedback on our work. Though, sometimes, real life does get in the way and I understand that most readers don't have time to leave lengthy reviews.)

Ohhh, you had me with that Tim Burton reference at the beginning. It was a small touch of something, but a nice one. The ensuing teen conversation was also funny in how it ended ('Hayley is not your girlfriend, dude'). Especially how dark things get in this chapter.

So the theory of Angela being a vampire gains more credence with the scene where she turns up outside Peter's bedroom window. It certainly was written as surreally as a bad dream and there were points where I almost thought it was one. But given Peter's actions, it became quite apparent that it was real. Good interplay between what Peter felt and experienced.

There's more action devoted towards the investigation, which derails Peter and Simon's romance. Not a bad thing, considering the stakes (hehe) at play. Now that the pair have seemingly concrete of Angela's vampiric nature, they are propelled to take some defensive measures. It's realistic how they can't approach the police or any other authority figures because who would believe them anyway?

I wasn't expecting Tommy to show up at the end. Now we definitely have the element of horror in the depiction of his appearance and his attack of our main pair. Again, another good cliffhanger to leave on, which leads me itching to click on 'Next'.

So things have finally progressed with Peter and Simon! The sex scene was realistic and well-written, even sweet in how it's depicted as the culmination of everything that's built up between them. I like how we see Peter 'leading' things so to spoke, in contrast to the previous chapters in which Simon was the one taking the initiative on their investigation.

I also like the scenes preceding the sex. Peter's home-life is different from Simon's in that the former has understanding parents and he seems to live a life so domestic and typical of someone his age in contrast to the latter. Simon was a little out of his element, which is a big plus. It showed a more vulnerable side to him, which seemed to appeal to Peter as well.

Dracula was one of my favorite classics growing up, so I like the references to that lore in this chapter. I can see how plausible a theory of Angela being a vampire would appear to Simon. It does fit in neatly with what Peter experienced near the creek. But then again, it does fit a little too neatly, like a red herring so I'm expecting to be surprised later on.

The ending is a nice cliff-hanger. Now that we've established the possibility of Angela being a vampire, the question of who she feeds on next is up in the air. A good way to segue into the next chapter ~

Wasn’t logged in but also wasn’t patient enough to wait!

Ooh, I do love raw feels, Simon, bruh, what the heck? Ya can’t just skip out on us like that!

No Simon, we have Steven now, please stop invading our dreams only for us to confess to you, because I have an inkling that it wasn’t entirely a dream. Peter I hope you’ve kept you stake handy!

Peter, you should be glad your dead friend is still technically missing, because your DNA was probably ALLLLLLLLL over that place, count your blessings, son.

I CANT WAIT!

Boi, how did I miss this? This was so good! I feel so bad for Peter, bloody Simon, he totally used him! I also felt bad for Tommy too...Angela deserved everything she got in my opinion, STAKE HER PETER, STAKE HER!
I'd love to read the next part! FIND SIMON, ASK HIM WHAT THE HECK HE'S PLAYING AT. Also I like the idea of Peter becoming an almost Hunter kind of character, I'm sure there are others who hunt down these monsters and creatures. I am aware he likely did it literally because they were in Scone and endangering the whole town, but someone has to clear up the mess, and I think, especially where Simon is concerned, he'd be the most fitting to do it. Still who knows where this could go!

I like the opening and how you build the relationships between characters. You also give an insight into Peter's mind which is in my opinion quite hard and the reason I stay away from first-person writing, but you've written it quite well.
Sgt. Hishiro

A very intense story that kept me hooked till the end to find out exactly what would happen in the end with constant action and drama flowing through the words. The epilogue rounds it up nicely as a story on its own but it also leaves room for a sequel where the narrator and Angela could go looking for Jane and Simon and face bigger terrors and intergalactic travel and stuff maybe? The setting suits the story as it's a fairly modern setting and it makes it easier for the reader to imagine themselves in the position of Peter and feel the same emotions and this is easier as the emotion is described well. The pace was quite good for me as it didn't feel like I didn't know what was going on due to it being too fast but I didn't doze off either with thousands upon thousands of words of description. The first paragraph grabs the reader's attention as it starts off with establishing something is wrong and makes the reader want to read on to find out what's wrong, why it's wrong, how it went wrong and who it affects or is caused by. All in all, a good idea, well executed.
Sgt. Hishiro
PS I know I did this like an English test but that's how I generally review and I think it also gives further insight to the author on where they have done well and where they need to improve.

Did you have the ending already written? I would like you to write again and I don't mind what it is.