|Reviews for youth|
| sprinkled clean chapter 2 . 7/9
I really liked this one. The title is spot on and memorable. The sentences flow from one image to another. I love the second person point of view, and it was well-used in a poem like this, as it helps me envision myself in the person’s shoes. I felt like I was going through the room as I read each line. It’s also a very dark poem, like I thought of it as someone lighting his/her house on fire, but it was raining that day, as referenced by the first lines and the ending (which I loved, by the way; I just have a thing for colour words). Tiny grammatical error, though, you don’t need the apostrophe on “its” in the line “your croton plant curls its leaves to black.”
| sprinkled clean chapter 1 . 7/9
First off, I just wanted to point out your usage of grate; not sure I got the image correctly because grate is a verb; did you mean, “gate”?
Secondly, I can definitely feel the angst from this work. I’m trying to figure out the backstory, what the person’s depiction of “youth” was and how he/she viewed his/her future. The line, “Is this what i wanted?” Was repeated and yet, the “this” which the narrator is referring to is pretty vague to me. I don’t know if you intended that, but for me, not being able to really picture that “this” which the narrator is referring to makes it hard for me to figure out the story of the poem; only a few details such as the yearbook and the memorial suggest anything.
There is an interesting contradiction I found, though. “The fall from here wouldn’t even break my legs” vs. “The cars that pass can’t see me, too high up” - there’s a hint that the narrator is contemplating suicide, especially the last line, but I don’t understand why the other line about the fall not being able to break his/her legs would be there.
I liked the mentions of the volcanoes and the mountains, though. They paint an interesting setting that completes the road/grate/highway parts which were also prominent in the poem.