|Reviews for a wayward giggle in the wind|
| Chronic Guardian chapter 1 . 8/27/2018
Is that a rhyme scheme I detect? Ermehgershwin! Someone was paying attention to my average problems as a poetry reader! -w-
That said, I think it's funny how you play with structure and free form here. The carefully arranged four-line stanzas with abcb rhyme scheme contrast with the absolute disregard for punctuation and capitalization to create an inherent disparity that warrants investigation. Almost like the described characters are pretending to play by the rules in one breath but openly confusing them in the next.
This dynamic interplay does indeed work nicely in the last few lines (the aaaa rhyme scheme reestablishes a sense of order and explanation at that point, I feel), where you seem to put nature against ambition. Essentially "which if any will achieve their dreams" seems to say that the chaotic personalities enjoy what they are, but also wish for something their nature prevents them from. It's a fun little word puzzle and really raises my expectations for TBE (which, if I were judging it from this poem, seems like it would be highly experimental stream of consciousness intrigue), if only in that I'd love to see these hints play out into recognizable forms. Am I asking too much? I guess I'll just have to find out...
As for the prompt... well, I see the inconvenient part, but are any of these things really allies? Hmmm... if I squint, then maybe we can say these people all are allied with natures and worldviews that they value even if they conflict with their dreams? It's an interesting take (very X like in its abstractness!) but I'll buy it!
Thanks for the mental work out! d(o,o)b
| SaltwaterJanuary chapter 1 . 7/8/2018
This was interesting. I especially liked the first and last lines.