|Reviews for Confinement' Flash Fiction|
| Rosalinda chapter 1 . 7/11
I love your work! This story really captures the gruesome reality of imprisonment. I would love to see you continue this piece so readers will know what Dedrick does after finding the gold. 10/10
| zanybellecloudo chapter 1 . 7/11
Your first sentence is long, remember you're trying to get the reader interested in your story and keep reading, thus the first and last lines are the most important. Instead try: "What little light there was in the subterranean dungeon, reflected off of Dedrick's pick axe and crashed into the large stone before his bare feet." Or something similar. A nice short and sharp sentence to paint the scene. Be careful of repeating words: "Along the way Dedrick passed some acquaintances along the way," Easily done no matter how many times you reread it.
Anyway, I really liked the story especially the way you describe the circumstances they're under, much like the slaves in Egypt. Really powerful and terrifying to imagine, young men wasting away. Trapped inside rocks without mercy. I'm glad he found gold, I assume he can go free now! A good end to an interesting tale. Thanks for sharing, ZB.
| katniss15 chapter 1 . 7/11
Wow, this is amazing! It is sad the conditions in slavery, and I think you did quite well with this. What does Dedrick do with the gold? Are you going to do anything further with this?