Reviews for Heroes Legion: Book Two: The STRIPE Conspiracy
Goonipers chapter 1 . 8/2/2018
You went a long time without any dialogue or characterisation, you know. I skimmed most of the beginning. I think you need some of your descriptive sentences joined up into bigger paragraphs, before the action starts. Action is short and snappy. You can also break up dialogue blocks into shorter, quicker paragraphs with action tags and short sentences, which you seem to love.