|Reviews for Michael: Anger Management|
| Random Hero Fan chapter 17 . 7/22
[I'm past the biting phase.] ~ Oh NO I want to laugh and cry at the same time! This scene is so heartwarming. Poor Cory - or not. Sounds to me like he's on a better path. Utah-raptor is adorable. I can just picture Michael handing it back over the table.
Just FYI, there are some past tense holdovers early on in the chapter. I didn't notice any POV problems. *fwip*
| Random Hero Fan chapter 16 . 4/23
Okay! Nevermind my last review! Now that I have read this, I can see where and why the idea was all originally one chapter. Reading them together balances it all out - the super-slow beginning, the exciting middle, and the feeling of anticipation in the new direction Tom takes us at the end makes a satisfying whole.
I'm so, so glad he's taking on Michael's case like this. Crossing my fingers he can find a way to help! Poor Michael!
| Random Hero Fan chapter 15 . 4/23
So! This chapter did indeed slow very much down, but the way it ended promises that we're going to leap right into the action again in a very real way. I don't know really what I would want to say, as writer-to-writer - maybe this particular chapter feels slower than previous chapters. Maybe it's a super-interesting glimpse into futuristic medicine, the changes that have been made, the advancements, and the things that will never change (hospital gowns! Cafeterias!). Maybe it's all necessary to know what Michael is going through right now. I think it is all of those good things. I also think that yeah, nothing really happens. It's very slice-of-life, which is not taboo! Just be careful to keep things interesting - I enjoyed that Michael is already feeling MORE today because of his nerves, and the promise that going off the drugs would bring it all back, so maybe play those up a bit more?
IF you want to change what you've written. IF you don't, then don't and everything will be just fine. ;) Besides, the next chapter may change my mind completely. I'll let you know! And remember - I'm only ONE reader. Someone else may have a totally different opinion.
| Random Hero Fan chapter 14 . 4/19
[Sleep is the one thing this medication makes me good at] ~ Oh, the FEELS.
[Slowly I pile out of the car] ~ I don't think this word choice works. "Pile" refers to a group of people getting into or out of a vehicle in a disorganized manner, not an individual.
This chapter is so sad. I wanted to cheer when Tom got all heated about Michael's psychiatrist and her obvious shortcomings! Here's hoping he can help.
| Random Hero Fan chapter 13 . 4/19
Oh, I absolutely adore the idea of bringing Steve into this story. First, because Steve is now in this story! He's still my very favorite. Second, because he has such a great rapport with Michael. I felt so happy while observing their interaction. Third, it's a nice way to slide into the Darwinverse what exactly it is Steve does with his life now. Brava!
[A bit of mortification slips through my head and probably reflects on my cheeks.] ~ Awesome.
| Random Hero Fan chapter 12 . 9/8/2019
[The care and concern that she showed this morning have dissipated like this morning's fog.] ~ I love this!
Wow, I'd been wondering what could possibly come between these two, or even how they would go through a breakup if they ever got there. Now I know! Saddens me, but I get it. Poor, poor Michael!
I love this, too! [It's his turn to look aghast. "Everyone deserves good friends, Michael, everyone. Remember that . . . stay strong. We love you!"]
| Random Hero Fan chapter 11 . 9/8/2019
What a sad chapter! I feel so bad for the poor kid, but he's handling this amazingly well so far. He has no choice, really, but I can still applaud him for it!
[The silence becomes oppressing.] ~ I think you mean "oppressive." :3 Also, "squirrel's" doesn't need an apostrophe.
Hmm, I wonder what's up with Mandy? I can usually glean insinuations from context, but I wasn't sure what Michael meant by this: [I realize a moment too late, she had a different reason in mind for a possible absence today.] What reason did she have in mind?
| Random Hero Fan chapter 10 . 9/3/2019
Wow, I cannot believe how real Michael's arrest feels, and this whole scene at the station. It's so scary and awful for him. Nicely written, though!
Constructive bit! It's small. Two words don't seem to be used in the right context. Swath, which means the path someone can take (how can Michael be a path?). And instigated, which means began or incited (how can Michael be began?). Haha, that last one sounds funny! It's how the original sentence was written.
Man, this kid has it rough. He's so sweet and tenderhearted, that it's almost (almost) comical how the authorities are treating him like some hardened criminal. I don't even know how he's going to come back up from this, or how he'll keep his promise to himself. I'm rooting for you, kiddo!
| Random Hero Fan chapter 9 . 9/3/2019
Loved how Michael reminds himself not to judge a book by its cover, but then says he thinks he's judged the story right. X3 Yes, he has!
Constructive thoughts: Passive voice. It's a curse on us all. Strong in this chapter, though. Sometimes it's easy to fix. For example: [There, nearest the emergency exits, there's a gaggle of about ten people milling about.] The word "there" is used twice to accommodate the passive, and there are two "about"s as well (ending a sentence on a preposition). Instead, try, [A gaggle of people, about ten, mill near the emergency exits.]
Oh no! Blackout! That was terrible! I want to cry, too! Poor Michael. / 3
| Random Hero Fan chapter 8 . 8/12/2019
Rowen is so so cute, I love her positive attitude and hippie style!
[holding it over the counter in askance of the scanner.] ~ I'm not sure I understand this sentence. "Askance" means "with an attitude or look of suspicion or disapproval." Just not sure it works in this instance.
Uh, oh. That didn't end well - and it /is/ a cliffie! You meanie! LOL!
| Random Hero Fan chapter 7 . 8/12/2019
Heya, Dar, I'm back for more.
Wow, I don't think you could have gotten the awkwardness of that particular family dinner more realistic. I still feel bad for Michael, and I'm worried because /he's/ worried.
Nitpick! :3 It's small, I promise. Early on, Michael mentions that his mother is much more conservatively dressed than usual, in comfy pants, a tank top, and loose hair. That seems like a contradiction. "Conservative" means a suit and tie, a pencil skirt and nylons, a clean shave, a bun. "Casual" would be more sweats and undershirt and letting the hair down.
I absolutely loved the description of Mandy all bundled up on the bus. One, it was adorable. Two, I actually /felt/ how cold it was, just from Michael looking at her!
| Random Hero Fan chapter 6 . 8/4/2019
Ooo, good stuff. I remember reading this a long time ago - maybe when it was still part of the first book? It's gotten stronger in the meantime. I actually don't have anything I want to crit! Michael is plunging headfirst through some tough, tough lessons, and I can tell that if he doesn't slow down and learn something, there will be trouble. On the other hand, poor kid, a lot is hitting him all at once again. Stay strong, Michael!
| Random Hero Fan chapter 5 . 8/4/2019
I hope this is the right chapter, chica! Let me know if I missed one (besides the one I reviewed through Discord). :3
OMG, haha, Rowen is my kindred spirit, her with that unicorn. Too cute! I'm loving this birthday vibe with her and Michael and Mandy and Corbin. It's nice to see them actually having some real fun.
I suppose the only thing I can find for my "help" section is piddly. The word "towards." It's used a lot in this chapter so I noticed. The American spelling is "toward." No S. Same with "backward" and "forward." Just FYI.
Wow, that confrontation with Cory actually played out fantastically well. I was totally sucked in through all of it - I wanted things to go well, of course, but I understand why Michael reacted the way he did (even if I don't like it! Poor Mandy!). That was awesome! Can't wait to see what's next!
| Random Hero Fan chapter 3 . 7/19/2019
Ooo, there was some good stuff in this chapter. Some real, down-to-earth conflict that's totally believable. I'm disappointed in Mandy's father (or, at least, how Mandy represents him), though I am not surprised. I would have thought it weird if Michael hadn't gotten angry with her peripherally, though it made me sad. I hope he makes up with her soon! Angelina rocks the Mom-biz.
One small thing, okay? It's "kitty-corner," not "kiddy." :3
| Random Hero Fan chapter 2 . 7/15/2019
Very positive and upbeat! Fun to read about the gang getting back together. :3 You did say this is hot off the keyboard, so I won't pick on the typos. There aren't many, anyway! You've really captured the feel of back to school, with some friends gone, some allegiance changes, the overall new vs. old. I also noticed that Michael and Mandy and the others actually sound older, which is perfect. Nice work!