|Reviews for Box Shaped Heart|
| frostheaven8 chapter 35 . 2/16/2021
Well let me start off by saying that I liked the first half of the story a lot. Not to be a hater but after chapter like 20 it just kept getting worse and worse and dragged on, it could have ended at least 5 chapters earlier. But ok, more content, whatever.
Your writing style is amazing and I think you've a ton of potential but plot-wise you need some work. Overall the idea was really interesting, cute and fun, I didn't mind the "supernatural" elements at all, that was fun and made for some fun scenes and content but there were so many illogical stuff that just bugged me.
Like for example I just don't like how you ended up making Alex as some kind of cartoon villain. This just took so much of the pleasure out of the story. Aron was a dumb shit, he was in love with his best friend the entire time and all Alex was for him was a trophy husband to fuck once in a while. And you can pretend that this is somehow Alex's fault but it's not, you don't marry a person because you weren't sure where you're at with your relationship and then be all self-righteous.
Also if Alex was such a bitch and never put out for poor Aron then why was Aron half expecting Carter (in Alex's body) to sleep with him right after getting out of a freaking hospital? And I know that Alex was bad bcs he was fucking others and whatnot but Aron didn't know that but the comments he made it seemed like he felt entitled to have sex with Alex. In reality people have different sex drives and Aron was a douche for making it sound like Alex was a prude for not putting out. And the story made it seem like he was justified in saying those things? No one is entitled to sex, not even in marriage. And this can be a big problem for relationships, not to be treated like oh Alex is a prude, only wants to be complimented and not giving anything in return. Alex just got too much unnecessary hate even though he did deserve a lot.
Also, you kept up how Alex was this hot twink and at first it felt genuine but as the story progressed more, it came off as if you were equating twink to superficial and dumb. And there was a moment where Carter was thinking how could Alex like Carter who's twinkish when Aron is a real man. Twinks aren't real men? That's just not right. I know I'm nit-picking and it's just my personal opinion but that's even a little offensive.
Another disappointing thing was the accident. It was clear from the start that Carter pushed Alex out of the way but it was like hyped up to be this big event. Mark being all oh you need to choose to remember the accident or the body swap. And if Carter had chosen to remember the accident then what? That was just dumb, didn't need to exist. Seems like you were trying to make it some kind of mystery but the point of mystery isn't to know what happened then be made into doubting what happened to find out the truth is exactly what you thought the entire time.
But don't mind me, I'm just a bitter person on the internet and I'm grateful to you for your efforts in writing the story. It's 7/10 for real and you should consider publishing it. God knows it's way better than half the crap on Amazon. I'm just sharing my personal opinions.
Now I don't want to end on a negative note so what I liked - The sex scenes were amazing. I masturbated to the first few chapters a lot LOL. The writing is flawless, easy to read, consistent and very elegant. The characters definitely had personalities (shitty ones but that's not a fault of the story, I love shitty people written in stories if done right), the story had its voice and I genuinely enjoyed it. If this was a book, I'd pay for it for sure and not regret it, money well spent. Tbh this could be a really neat movie as well.
Another thing I liked was Simon. I think Simon was the best character. I liked that he got fleshed out more and more as the story progressed and didn't feel like just a plot-device (like David). He had his own thoughts and feelings and I found myself caring. Was he stupid and flawed as well? Heck yes but I didn't think he was in any way unrealistic, offensive or even douchy despite him being a dipshit in reality. And he got some character progression as well. Overall I think you did a brilliant job with him and it's an example of excellently written shitty character that I could empatize with and care about.
I liked the ending as well, Alex showing signs that he's an actual human and not a cartoon in the last chapter. I actually liked Alex as a character. And I feel for him about marrying a guy so obviously still in love with his best friend. I'd take such a guy's money and cheat on him too LOL. Aron just wasn't the sweatheart he was portrayed I feel. I guess I kinda disliked Aron and not for being a shitty character but being a shitty one while being portrayed as an innocent little lamb.
I liked Carter also. He was shitty but it wasn't like he was supposed to be an angel. He did, thought and said dumb shit but that fits him (tho saying twinks aren't real men, jealous much Carter?) But I found him really funny and entertaining.
I'm truly sorry if I come off as a hater, I'm really not. Just conflicted because I loved the story and the premise but disliked a lot about it as well. I will go read your other story as well, I'm hoping for some more hot sex and pretty twinks and hot hunks LOL.
Love you, please write more and don't think this is a hate comment. I truly am a fan! Keep writing and publish this bad boy (and more).
| Lilly-is-trash chapter 35 . 12/27/2019
Wow this took me so long to finish ( that’s a good thing :) ) I was SO interested in this storyline that i didn’t want it to be over, It has accompanied me though many long drives. So thank you for writing this story and making these characters which I fell in love with. It was beautifully written!
| dizasterdeb chapter 35 . 10/20/2019
Hahaha! Great ending. Loved this story with its touches of humour and the supernatural deftly woven in! You created believable characters and kept the pace moving along swiftly, really impressed. Looking forward to now starting the next story. Thank you for finishing... some authors run out of steam, or maybe time, which is always such a shame.
| Saint Wilde chapter 35 . 10/19/2019
Thank you for what has easily been on of the best reads on this site in a while. It’s been a long time since there’s been a completed story like this on this site. I wish people were active the way they used to be back in the day because y far you would have taken the cake. Thank you for writing something both realistic but fantastical and whimsical.
| Estrellagrace chapter 34 . 10/13/2019
awwwww loved this so much
| EpsilonEridani chapter 34 . 10/13/2019
That was amazing. I'm happy I was here for every moment.
| Arcanaacid chapter 33 . 10/11/2019
I just binge read this and loved all of it! I’m anxious and excited to find out what happened!
| EpsilonEridani chapter 33 . 10/11/2019
Oohh, things are really getting good! I'm excited for the next one.
| EpsilonEridani chapter 30 . 9/29/2019
Ah! Things just keep getting better! This is adorable! I'm just wondering how you're going to mess with things to torture them again...
| dizasterdeb chapter 29 . 9/27/2019
Whoa! Hehe. So enjoying these and can't for the next chapter.
| EpsilonEridani chapter 28 . 9/23/2019
That was really hot. But come on Carter, you beautiful nimrod!
| EpsilonEridani chapter 27 . 9/20/2019
Um,,,okay? What the hell?
| Saint Wilde chapter 27 . 9/20/2019
WHY IS ALEX THE WORLD’S BEST ANTAGONIST JFC HES INSANE AND I LOVE IT! I think that your character building/word building is so fantastic. Mainly because though this is an everyday setting the rules and criteria you’ve set up and sneakily advanced. Also the way this is unfolding is so much fun.