After reading a good story like this one, I can't help but suggest that you publish your book in NovelStar. For sure a lot of readers will love your work.

This is a good first chapter. I can definitely see this story as being almost like a animated web series. My only complaint is that you have to revise some of the spelling here. I encourage you to do this right away because bad spelling is a huge turn-off for a lot of people.