|Reviews for The mune prophecy|
| Rebel Mutant chapter 2 . 2/26/2019
This story has some potential
| DukeZachary chapter 8 . 12/25/2018
You Wrote Wonderful Tale With A Nice Blend Of Sci-fi, Suspense, And Comedy Well Done Friend!
| foreverwriter chapter 1 . 11/23/2018
It was nice but too much information about the characters feeling might slow down the pace of a reader to which (s)he is on to.
| Katie Grey chapter 1 . 11/22/2018
It's best to start your story with a hook. Something that draws your reader in, something that sparks their interest. The first two sentences of this chapter were... boring, in my opinion. Talking about the weather is not a good way to hook your reader in.
But a man sitting in a tree with a pack of wolves beneath him? That's exciting! I think that you should delete those first two sentences and start with "Jo heard a noise."
Now I have a few things to say... first, why did he yell "bloody hell!" when he saw the wolves if he had already tried to scare them a hundred times? It seems like he should be used to seeing them by now.
Another thing... I'm not sure about the use of an exclamation mark in "he then threw the little projectiles at the hungry wolf pack." and "he, josiah mune, was looking at an alien space ship." Usually, exclamation marks of reserved for dialogue. It just feels weird to me.
You also have a few issues with commas. It's nothing that couldn't be easily fixed, however. I would consider maybe getting a beta? Someone to help you with your grammar? I can speak from personal experience that a beta can be VERY helpful in writing your story.
There are good things too, of course. I LOVE how you compared the wolves to cockroaches. That was such a gross, but good mental image. I also like your premise a lot. I think it's a pretty cool idea.
| DukeZachary chapter 1 . 11/20/2018
Really Suspensful The Crazy Internet People Was A Funny Little Bit Too Overall 9/10 WAY Better Than My Works!