|Reviews for Dolly Baby|
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/17/2019
Once upon a time I did research into education in the 1950s and I still have those notes, so I’m going to impart some information to you before you feel inspired to barrel onwards.
1: the Washington School for the Blind was founded in 1911, so blind Summer Lindsay wouldn’t be attending a public school that doesn’t have the resources to accommodate her blindness. Because...
2: Schools SUCKED HARD back then. I mean it. WW2 had a devastating effect on the American education system. More than 75,000 children didn’t attend school in 1946 because there was a severe shortage of teachers. There wasn’t much improvement by 1953. The teachers had little to no training whatsoever, the classroom materials were inadequate, and the schools suffered greatly from decreased funding. If the school can’t even meet the needs of their able-bodied students, there’s no way they can afford to supply Summer with the Braille books she’d need. Braille books are expensive to print even today and that’s with the refined printing techniques. Can you imagine the difficulty an underfunded public school might have with getting their hands on up-to-date Braille textbooks in 1953?
2.5: Seriously tho, explain to me why a public school needs a Braille teacher.
3: Between 1946 and 1957, educators focused on a student's emotional, physical, and mental development, with a focus on music, philosophy, and art. Reading, writing, and math (the three “R”s) were actually neglected. Science too. Then Sputnick happened in 1957 and everyone got real jittery realizing that Soviet Russia seriously outclassed the American education system. Science and math was completely overhauled in 1958.
4: Fatima is a Arabic/Islamic name. A Cuban girl would not be named that. A Chinese girl is equally unlikely to be named Penelope (unless she picked the name for herself to fit in, but it wouldn’t be her birthname).
5: You don’t need to put quote marks around a character’s name when you first introduce them. Stylistically, it’s distracting. Secondly, when you put quote marks around words, it communicates to the readers that you, the author, don’t agree with the term used. Example: Hitler was a “wonderful” person. It’s sort of a way to convey sarcasm. Using quote marks around a name makes it reads as though the character supposedly named Vanessa but there’s no proof.
6: For fuck’s sake, if your stories are complete, mark them as such.
| Phantom Actress chapter 1 . 6/20/2019
Well, it looks like everyone's a jerk to Summer.
| Kurono Kuro chapter 2 . 2/14/2019
First of all, it has a weird format. Script right? I don't know how one really looks like but I think that it is not good for storytelling. Why not use theater format instead, or even better if novel format. It is only my personal preference though.
The format affects the story telling so I can't really picture the characters, events, places etc. It made the setting quite ambiguous. The lack of details is the main problem, I think. But it can't be helped with that style. And also there are quite a lot of characters that has been introduced, I am anxious whether I can differentiate them with one another, especially those side characters.
Now on the plot. Pure romance and friendship isn't my thing when the MC is a girl. It turns to be a shoujou, reverse harem most of the time after all. Your story so far, seems to be going the same patern. That's nice as well since there is the charactery circumstances right of the batt. Anyway, Nice job.