Reviews for The Pappy
pewternatural chapter 45 . 3/18
No wonder everyone follows Joseph, the guy ia a true monster.
Irhaboggle chapter 52 . 3/17
"I'm alive, just working on other project" SAME. But yes, this was a nice little chapter! Pappy's angry rant in the intro was a nice starter and Emily giving the others upgrades (with the best names ever) was hilarious. It was sort of surprising to hear that her lab was the neatest, but I guess it makes sense since she's such a weapons-fiend. And LOL at basically any line she has to Jacob. I know we hate the guy, but he's so weak rn that I almost feel bad for him. Almost. But dang, what a dramatic ending with that battle start up! Great job on this as always!
pewternatural chapter 42 . 3/2
Roosevelt really is the father figure of Acorn. He seems wise and caring, but is capable of laying down an ass whupping.
Irhaboggle chapter 51 . 2/27
LOL at Dianne being bored at a meeting and thinking “Am I turning into Pappy?” and of course Abraham would be a lot more into the meeting. He’s always struck me as the mellowest of the group, so it makes sense he’d be the only one willing to pay any attention to the “boring stuff”. And double LOL at the idea of Emily sleeping through the whole thing. Very in-character for her. And so is the idea of her accidentally (or maybe on purpose) sucker punching anyone who tries to wake her up. Mood.

*Making one quick “complaint”: the fact that you have the Sky Titans as the white chess pieces and the KKK as the black chess pieces, while understandable, goes back to the tired dichotomy of whitegood and blackbad. It’s why, on the VERY rare occasion where I play chess, I always play the black pieces. I’m tired of white being the default “good” color. (And tbh, the KKK probably looks more like the white chess pieces because of their stupid getup, lol)

“Where’s breakfast?” LOL mood
“Save the theatrics for the actors!” LOLOLOL! Golden line right there! Love how Emily is the one to basically say “Dianne, shut up and quit with the brooding. No one likes a brooding protagonist!” She’s definitely the type to interrupt a dramatic monologue with some witty one-liner!
“Can we go fight now? Me really want to bust some Klan heads!” LOL, mood again! Emily is great!

And that entire interrogation scene was hilarious! From Jacob’s snide remarks to Emily’s outburst to Dianne’s “I’ll make chopsticks with HIS ribs!”, it was all hysterical! Great work on this! Even if it was a short chapter, it was definitely enjoyable! (Writer’s Block SUCKS!) Good luck with your comic book too!
Irhaboggle chapter 50 . 2/20
Abayomi’s inner dialogue is great!
Lol that she calls herself Abbie and lol at her reason for eating Leo and lol at her “I’d rather suck off Jesus’ baby carrot!” That’s not a sentence I ever thought I’d read, but here we are!

I also appreciate her sense of blasphemy, it’s very tongue-in-cheek and I confess that I’ve had similar thoughts before.

And I honestly find it endlessly funny that she’s got people living in her stomach, so to speak. It reads like a cheesy cartoon where the characters get eaten and then it cuts to them talking or playing cards in the belly of whatever ate them, lol

Interesting idea of Virginia being even worse than Dianne, I cant believe I never thought about that before! But dang, that ending! Can’t wait to see what new web of drama you spin next time!
Irhaboggle chapter 49 . 2/12
LOL that opening line! But can you blame Leo? That’s like the fact that no one reads the terms of service on iphones and whatnot. And tbh, Leo’s a mood. If I had a Badge, I’d probably let my cockiness take over and I’d actually be pretty pathetic but I’d feel cool, LOL. Poor Angelica for having to deal with that, LOL.

It’s cute to see Angelica look after Virginia though.

Leo complaining from inside Abayomi’s stomach was probably THE funniest thing I’ve read all week and I legit laughed out loud quite loudly. Your humor is amazing and that line was a masterpiece! I hope you’re proud of it!

But holy crap at Abayomi taunting Angelica like that. That was cruel. She’s annoyingly persistent, but her powers can be quite terrifying at times. And now I want to know Angelica’s background. All your characters are so compelling! And wow, guess Virginia inherited her parents’ sense of heroism, that was a brave move for such a kiddo. I certainly wasn’t that noble or strong, LOL.

But god dang, you better not have killed these guys already! I was just warming up to them! You monster :P
pewternatural chapter 41 . 2/11
Ashley's point of view is interesting. When we first met him I thought he was just a rage and hate filled killer, but it turns out he's much more analytical.
Irhaboggle chapter 48 . 2/7
LOL at Leo calling the South out. He’s not wrong tho.
“Spare me the lore” LOL, I feel like that was something of a self-referential jab (in which case, I approve!)
But wow, that’s definitely terrifying and cool what the badge can do.
“The sun better come up in 20 minutes” LOLOLOLOLOL!
It’s nice to finally meet Virginia. After all this time only hearing about her in passing, I’m excited to see where you take her from here (literally and metaphorically)
Also, Leo’s transformation is so fitting for him. I can’t explain it, but the idea of him being a boar-bro is so funny and perfect to me!
“There’s a manual?” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, I feel that
Abayomia again? She really is a thorn in EVERYONE’S side isn’t she? Looks like we’re up for another battle! Does she never rest? LOL.
But great work! Can’t wait to see what happens next!
Irhaboggle chapter 47 . 2/4
LOL that entire intro was great, and so true! But it’s always cute when we see the typically-violent or loud characters doing something cute, sweet, small and/or domestic, like gardening. Funny but adorable start!

A water gun?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! How hysterical and adorable! Now I need to see the gang getting into a water gun fight. Emily probably would’ve found a way to make a water machine gun (a hose, I guess) and she’d be WAY TOO overcompetitive, and so would Pappy, but it would still be funny to watch!

But this really was a very cute chapter. It’s nice to see their relationship bloom (pun intended), and in such a soft, gentle manner no less! And it was interesting to see their backstory, and hear them both admit that they remembered each other. (I’m glad you actually didn’t make it too dramatic because I was expecting one of them to finally acknowledge their shared past and cause the other to freak out, but this scene was so quiet and quick that it genuinely surprised me. I like it, though, because I think it’s a good subversion on the usual, aforementioned trope of the big secret getting a dramatic reveal).

And them finally confronting Pappy’s crush was worth another laugh. It’s so odd seeing such a serene and lighthearted bit of fluff in this story, but it’s really well-written!

But WTF, Joseph?! I knew he was a bad guy, but WTF?

But LOL at Dianne finally calling Pappy “Dick Daddy”. That’s such a messed up, hilarious nickname. Watching these guys flirt and watchign Dianne’s feistier side come out so that now SHE can fluster PAPPY instead of the other way around is gold! Their banter and flirting are relationship goals for sure!

LOL at Emily eating poisonous plants. That’s honestly NOT what I expected to read, but that is yet another painfully and hilariously in-character thing for her to do. And Pappy’s subsequent line about who Emily is honestly is an excellent character description. It’s why I find her so much fun! (Though she’d definitely be the one to kill someone over a plant. Not a friend, but I can see her doing it to someone, LOL)

I also love the fact that Dianne essentially uses her super strength to help garden by removing some of the weedier parts of the garden. My mom would love that power (she spent one entire summer tearing ivy off the side of our house). She loves gardening too and she’d probably die to come to this place, if it were real.

Also, I love that Pappy’s second garden is an armory. That sums him up fairly well. He’s got some fluffy parts (flowers) and then he’s got his badass action hero parts (lots and lots of guns). Dianne’s “It’s like everyone here has an armory!” is honestly the truth. When does she get one? JK
(Interesting bullet lore)

And oooooh, that last line! The ship has sailed!
pewternatural chapter 40 . 2/2
I really enjoy the Dianne focused chapters and can't wait to see what the new Dianne will be like in combat.
Irhaboggle chapter 46 . 1/31
“Kissing Abayomi is like drinking water from a sewer” Eeeeew, LOL! But hot dang at Dianne sort of enjoying it. Now we know what sort of freaky, kinky things she’s sort of into, LOL!

Lol at Pappy naming his guns. I can easily see him doing that.

But dang at Dianne’s new angry side. It’s funny how she switched from nervous (because of Abraham’s joke) to OUTRAGED when she realized it was only that. It was such a drastic shift, but I think it highlights her 2 differing personalities very well.

“Let Emily be the comedic relief, ok?” LLOLOLOLOLOLOL, I’m good with that!

LOL, I’m not even remotely surprised Emily is Dianne’s roomie! I feel like rooming with Emily would be both hysterical and terrifying!

“Cookies and chips… Me have weird cravings” LOL, I relate

Ayyyyyy! Nice reference! I appreciate it, man! I laughed when I read it! (Like I said, I still don’t know when I’ll add your reference in, but I swear I’ll tell you the exact chapter once I have it up!)

LOL at Emily teasing Dianne about her crush on Pappy. And her subsequent reaction to hearing about “Paul Bridges” was legit me. And it had me laughing!
“What in the Romeo and Juliette Hell?!” that was a great line! And so was “Was the Dick Daddy good?” I swear, Emily is incorrigible! But her friendship with Dianne is adorable and it’s sweet to finally see that bond being solidified. Though the story with her son was definitely sad. I wonder if you’ll ever have us meet him too?

LOL at Emily’s sleeping position. I feel like, if this were ever a movie, we’d get a pan-over montage of everyone sleeping and everyone would be in a normal position… except Emily. While everyone else is flat on their backs, she’d be in some crazy, stupid position.

But man, what cliffhanger did you end us on this time? I feel like something serious and/or emotional will be up next, but I’ve never been good at guessing, so I can’t really say for sure… But what I CAN say for sure is a big “thank you!” for the shout-out in the AN (and the character references, of course)! You’re the best!
Irhaboggle chapter 45 . 1/30
That opening A/N is legit me, LOL
Oh oof man, Ashley really is staging a rebellion! Listening to his internal dialogue and backstory is chilling, because he has quite the story to tell. I won’t lie though, he’s a powerful and terrifying fighter, given how well he was able to take on the Iron Claw (decapitating a werewolf with your bare hands. Jeez). These wolves don’t even seem that scary if Ashley can kill any of them that cross his path, and with his bare hands, no less!

“Tighter than a fat man struggling to put a belt on after a buffet.” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, you have the funniest lines, I swear! They’re great!
But I think I spoke too soon, Joseph is even MORE terrifying (given that he can apparently just “vampire out” and summon his dragon teeth on a whim to BITE A HUGE CHUNK OF THIS CHICK’S ARM OUT). You really don’t hold back from the violence, do you? LOL. But it sure is epic and dramatic. This would definitely be a rated R film and would probably take an ocean of fake blood to make. And then he snaps her neck with a finger and annihilates her badge. How has this dude not already won the entire war yet? LOL. He’s Super Super-Saiyan!

But LOL at Abayomi’s late arrival and pretty much everything she says this chapter. I can’t believe she’s got the nerve to flirt with a guy who just WASTED an ARMY of Zetas. I know she’s mad, but man I’d be running!

Joseph sure SOUNDS like he’s approaching Joker territory… Can’t wait to see what you do with him next! And it sounds like Leo and Angelica got to Virginia! Can’t wait to see more of that storyline too. I’m interested in seeing how you develop Virginia (and I like Leo and Angelica, even though we’ve only seen them a few times so far). Another great job!
pewternatural chapter 38 . 1/27
It almost seems like a win-win for Columbia, her daughter is protected and her past sins as the Grey Wolf are forgotten. We'll have to see if things turn out as well as the proposal suggest.
Irhaboggle chapter 44 . 1/27
Onision is a madman. Don’t give him any attention (unless it’s to arrest him for child endangerment and sexual grooming). He doesn’t deserve anything else.

I have to say, I like the way Joseph picks his targets. Even though he doesn’t really seem to support the idea of White Supremacy (at least not 100%), he still chooses followers in people who do. But as you explained here, he does it because he knows they’re the easiest to control. In some twisted irony, Joseph is proving his “anti-KKK” attitudes through his rationale on why they made the perfect set of followers (because he views them as stupid and lazy). I like that. It’s interesting. And it shows just how cunning and pragmatic Joseph really is. He knows how to play this game well, doesn’t he?

“Small band of children dressed in ghost shirts” LOL

But dang, what an intense fight! IDK if the badges are supposed to be rare or not, but it feels like everyone has one. Definitely makes for quite the battle, eh? And I can’t believe you ended on that cliffhanger, right before Leo and Angelica find Virginia! I want to see what happens if they succeed! (And I don’t want to have to wait :P). But LOL at that last line right there.

As for me, I can handle violence and gore. I didn’t find this too disturbing (I’ll let you decide what that says about me LOL).
Shang chapter 2 . 1/24
Hmmm... I have a bit of mixed feelings about this chapter. Skipping the repetition I mentioned in my previous review, this entry seems to have several mistakes that are the result of no proof-reading like when Dianne (I'm guessing the name, since it isn't actually given in the chapter) notices Pappy for the first time, there's a line that literally goes as follow:
"Up there up to the at the table in the back [...]"
Clearly some of the words shouldn't be in there and - to me - it's kinda glaring as it disturbed the flow of the narration. Something similar can be found a couple more times throughout this chapter, so you might wanna recheck this entry. We are human, so mistakes can happen, but these seem like ones that should be easily avoided by proof-reading.

I was also a bit at a loss about some things turning the fight, in particular: how did Pappy kill 5 people with one shot? Deadpool movie aside (and even than the record was three :D) - how did one shot took out 5 people premamently?
Also why Dale claimed an Alpha badge when Abraham and Pappy say it's a Zeta one? Was he just bragging?

The fight was a tad gory and felt over-the-top with two guys killing an entire bar for - arguably - trivial reasons. It doesn't sit all too well with me, granted this may be personal preference. As we'll learn more about Pappy and Abraham I guess I'll be able to decide whether it fits their character or not.
The fight itself was okay, although - as mentioned - at times hard to follow like how Dale goons can "land blow after blow" yet miss? It's a contradiction. Also Pappy pulled out his guns, yet when facing Dale he punched him several times. It feels like there are details missing.
It's a completely different style, but I too have a gunslinger who fights in close quarters in my "Final Magic" story, so I understand it's hard to implement the style, but you may want to be more "atentive" to the guns once they are drawn.

The chapter - as a whole - is not bad, fulfilling the tale's premise (per usual in manga: first bad guys are creamed easily :D). Gory and over-the-top as I've written, but that is what you were going for, so one can't have actual complains about that - you either like the style or not.

The POV change mid-chapter felt a tad weird; not sure if such shifts should be done within the constrains of a single chapter, although Dianne's narration was more to my liking than Pappy's :)
Certainly the story doesn't slow down, so it keeps you interested, but remember: action just for the sake of action eventually gets boring, so watch out for that.

By the way: is the separation into "parts" (as in Part 1 - chapter 2 and so on) an indicator of story arcs?

There is a lot of promise to this tale, so nice work so far.
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