|Reviews for Witch of the Moor|
| ElvenValar chapter 3 . 9/11/2019
| ElvenValar chapter 2 . 9/11/2019
| ElvenValar chapter 1 . 9/11/2019
| Timbo Slice chapter 1 . 8/30/2019
This was a enjoyable way to start off this story! The relationship between Ash and Shane was definitely a highlight and you did a great job of capturing their realistic interactions with each other as far as them being a rural farmhand and milkmaid. I can tell this story has a old time feel to it but would have been better to establish a definite time period.
Some of the descriptive words were really used effectively and helped move scenes along smoothly but two sentences in particular felt jarring: “the moon climbed steadily in the sky as night lay claim to the land. The moon began to rise”. You had already explained that the moon was rising in the previous sentence, no need to repeat it in a less vivid way.
The story is loaded with the unique lore and cast of characters I expect from one of your stories so it’ll be interesting to read more. Keep up the good writing!
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 1 . 8/21/2019
This is a great opening; probably my favorite of all your works. You do a great job of establishing the rapport between Ash and Shane. (I like the name Ash - is that possible a reference to Cinderella or am I reading too much into it?) It seems Ash's mother is quite loving if a bit overprotective, and extends that to Shane. Because Shane just assumes he'll be scolded and not that his parents will worry about him, it makes me wonder if he might not come from the most loving home. Maybe his relationship with Ash is so strong is because she is one of the few who cares about him - sad, but sweet.
Chad calling Shane "bro" is funny. I'm imagining this 80s surfer dude plopped down in this frontier setting. LOL.
Anyway, this is a promising start to the story. Keep writing!