|Reviews for Family Secrets|
| Crimson Arrow chapter 26 . 3/2
Hey, Liz. I went through your whole story! At first I thought I was in for a mystery adventure, but to my surprise there was action and even some sci-fi as well! Have you thought about fleshing out the setting more and making it more sci-fi? It could go along with foreshadowing the Mafia's influence and maybe more inventions key to the story - particularly if it involves Sol, who I really loved for her energy and attitude!
May I also suggest showing us more of Nadezhda's daily life before she discovered the secret that started the adventure? She is strong-willed, but her character needs more nuances for the reader to be sympathetic - they must care what happens to her, so we must know more of her! Perhaps adding her uncle Sasha in the beginning, also another fav of mine - I mean, he's a private detective in a mystery story! Perhaps you can foreshadow the later events to come.
Also, towards the end I feel the story was lacking an element of danger, something to push the heroes into action. Perhaps you can have the mafia family scheme up something incredibly devious to take over the city and people? Something Sci-fi like those cloning machines?
Lastly, I must say the ending was almost perfect how it wrapped everything up. I'm glad our heroine didn't end up with the creep and reconciled with her family instead. It would be even better if you hinted at Nadezhda's future? After going through such an exciting adventure, she must know what her next adventure is!
Sorry if my review was too much, but good job and keep writing! Writers can only get better if we write!
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 1 . 1/18
This isn't a bad start. The concept is intriguing, and I do get the feeling that you've put a lot of thought into the details here, like the fact that the father knew he was going to die and left the almost blank diary for his kid. I guess something that could be improved is the characterization - I know it's still early, but so far, I don't feel too involved with your characters or sympathetic to them. IMO it's important to make the characters interesting right away.
| Super Princess Daisy chapter 13 . 1/4
This is turning into an action story. Keep going!
| Super Princess Daisy chapter 11 . 12/31/2019
Finally things start to unfurl. Keep posting!
| Super Princess Daisy chapter 10 . 12/30/2019
Finally you have written more chapters! I like how she came across her uncle and shared what she discovered.
| Super Princess Daisy chapter 8 . 12/28/2019
PLEASE write more chapters. This story is getting really intriguing! I am looking forward to the future chapters.