YAY best ending EVER! I'm so happy these VS people turned out to be so decent. Jacob really was a perfect match with them, it's a shame . . . but I'm so excited that he and a certain lady might actually get some closure!

This was a wonderful novella - one of your best, IMO! :3

~ rhf

This was so incredibly sad and poignant! Poor Hattie. It's nice to finally understand her.

On the other hand, I don't feel like I truly grasped how Jacob felt about his change. I didn't really get a sense of loss, or euphoria, or anything in between. I don't know what it is he's giving up in his life (other than his job as a Wanderer and maybe that bond with Lee, which is actually pretty sad). Is there room at all to let us know more about who Jacob actually is? Or, is there a way to make his sense of loss (or his indifference to it) in regards to VS stronger? Just a thought! Always just a suggestion!

I still love this story so, so much. It's truly inspired! Off to the epilogue now!

~ rhf

[inglorious amounts of agony] ~ What a gorgeous description this is! On the other hand, [doing their best to chaff the skin] ~ I think should be "chafe."

Random thought: I think I'm only noticing this because you mentioned it, but you're right - what happened to the storm? I realize it is hard to remember what a big deal it was for Jacob at this point . . . but it did sorta poof, didn't it? lol I didn't think of it until now, if that says anything to you.

[narrowing his eyes at the hallow of light] ~ This one was a hot off the press, wasn't it? :3 Instead of hallow, I think "halo."

You're right. I still really like Lee. She's good peoples.

Well, this is certainly an interesting turn of events! I'm happy there's been some good news here - it's all been pretty grim until now. I'm looking forward to what Jacob does next!

~ rhf

The science of vampires! I love that bit about how they're heavier and why. I actually gasped when Hattie attacked. I mean, we had to know it was coming, but it didn't come like I might have expected, and I felt like I was right there with Jacob through it. So scary!

Her licking him actually made MY cheek hurt. This is me making all kinds of grossed-out faces, lol.

I. Can't. Believe. You. Did. This. To. Him.

It's the most frigging /awesome/ twist I've read in a while! Because it's horrible! But awesome! We're rooting for you, Jake, don't let us down!

~ rhf

[She was asking questions with her violence.] Whoa. Profound. Love it.

In all seriousness, those aug-suits are so kickass! X3 It's fun that even with them, a vampire is still a threat. It's all very Marvel-level epic and exciting.

I noticed a hanging sentence - maybe an unfinished thought? [Lower still he breathed,] Also, [There's no access to on here on the bridge] ~ just a missing "e."

LEE IS AWESOME, towing Jacob like that! Woo! Also, I can see that she's going to be a problem, and I'm sad about it, because she's rough and tumble and I like her. I actually enjoyed the second half, with all the slower details . . . this is stuff we need to know to anchor us - otherwise it would all just be action without reason. That's my opinion, anyway! :3

~ Anne

LOL, I don't know that "Boats" is a good name for a character in a scene full of lifeboats in a boat heading for a boat (ship). ;3 Just kidding! It made me laugh. I needed that bit of light in all this horrory-stuff.

[His entire body nettled] - this is another one of those odd verbs. "Nettle" needs an object: I nettled you until you posted another update. It's something that's done (to nettle: to irritate or beat), not something that happens. Also, [Turning the cadaver's back and forth] ~ the cadaver's what? :3 Last one! [He heard Lee wretch] - Wretch is a noun, retch is the verb you want. *fwip*

OMG, the arm. Marion! Put that down! X3

Yeah, I think you got the horror-movie aspect down pat. It's gross and tense and definitely delivers. *shiver* I really like how vampirism in this universe can be synonymous with "zombiepocalypse." Gonna read another because this is getting good!

~ rhf

Wow, girl, this was tense! I mean, I like how the narrative mirrored how Jacob sees the CDC and their M.O. It started out slow and kinda, yeah, I'm hungry, yeah, I gotta sleep, nothing but waiting . . . and then BAM! Dead people in the mess. That is crazy. I wonder what Taryn and everyone saw?

~ rhf

Oooo, I love the descriptions in the first few paragraphs! I can tell you've done that same kind of "steaming." ;3 Very pretty images, imo, if a bit lonely or creepy. I like the evolving of hurricane categories and how they're dealt with, too. Also, the detail on Lee's hearing - so organic!

Dun dun duuuunnnn! So ominous ending! :3 I love it! This is getting exciting!

~ rhf

Jacob has certainly changed, hasn't he? Hardened veteran indeed. I'm kinda glad he still cares what does or doesn't happen to Brenda. I liked Lee, too, even though I wouldn't in person. Great characterization there!

I wonder where this will go next!
~ rhf