|Reviews for The White Sheep's Disguise|
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/14/2019
A promising start! No significant grammatical/spelling errors, which is always a good sign. I am especially taken with the strong characterization- everybody feels real. I'm curious to learn more about Luminaries and how the magic system works, and about the Queens.
Thanks for the story!
| Alyce Reide chapter 4 . 11/10/2019
Wow. That was...intense.
| Alyce Reide chapter 3 . 11/7/2019
Ever read "Ash Princess"? This isn't incredibly like it, but something about your style reminds me of it.
| Alyce Reide chapter 1 . 11/2/2019
So, uh, I just realized I can't review the same chapter twice. So this is Chapter 2's review here:
Brava! That certainly lived up to the first chapter's promise!
The only thing is, it's mostly present tense, except when you say "fell" in the last sentence- did you mean "falls"? It seems like you did.
Sorry, inner Grammar Nerd there. Can't wait for chapter 3!
| Alyce Reide chapter 2 . 11/2/2019
The first chapter was really interesting, and I got excited to read the second chapter. I still want to read it, but the second chapter was literally unreadable. It was full of
p style"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro',
in adittion to the regular text. Plus, everything was in one huge chunk of text, which, since the first paragraph was well-spaced, I don't think you meant.
I'd love to read Chapter 2 and subsequent chapters if you fix those, though!