I’m not one to give much feedback on nonfiction but it was an interesting character study of the kind of person who seems to be everyone’s best friend.

Were you going to write more? I noticed it’s not marked complete

Hello from the RG EF!

To be honest, I find myself at a loss of what to critique. Much of what is present here is reflective of what I look for in oneshots - cool one liners, cohesive themes and good flow. I suppose I could be more specific on what I like, though I'm unsure of where to start. Luckily, it just so happens that you have specific queries in your author's notes. How convenient.

On pacing, I feel like every scene was given ample time to breathe. You have a nice balance between dialogue and prose, allowing the story to gain traction at a smooth pace. The only scene you skimped on was the sex scene between Max and the protagonist. The story jumps straight to the ending - which is fitting in a story all about remembrance. Some moments in time, while important, cannot stay preserved forever.

On structure, I don't think that the presentation of the story feels at all contrived. It flows from present to past to present fluidly, allowing us to peek at frozen vignettes in time. If there's any fault with your structure, I didn't spot any.

Overall, this is a solid oneshot. Maybe when I grow older, I'll be able to resonate more with the melancholic feelings present here. For now, I'll just appreciate the themes and the cool lines here. (It made sense that his hubris was genuine pretty good to read) Thanks for writing.

...First off, it's lovely to see you writing again. Secondly, this is honestly very well-written and thought-provoking. Thought-provoking in the sense that it brings back a sense of nostalgia over the people you meet in your life and then just watch fade away. At least, that's my interpretation of it, but I am sure that most readers will be able to relate to this, not only because of the emotions that this piece contains, but also the general themes of unrequited love, missed opportunities and saying goodbye to university. In the way I see it the trip represents a sort of transition period - the one where you embark on an unknown journey before starting your professional life. But then again, that's only my interpretation XD.

I always love a one-shot that makes me think, though - and that's enough for me to justify giving this a fave. On a technical level, I think this is very good - I don't see anything off about the pacing or structure. It's as involved as it needs to be, and the slightly detached tone of writing does evoke a sense of distance/nostalgia that only the passage of time can convey properly (hope that makes sense). I really like the little details you put in here - so much to unpack, but never meaningless or making the flow of writing feel too cluttered.

I am also a big fan of the honest depiction of a relationship here. It isn't melodramatic but just a realistic tale about two people drifting apart. I do feel sorry for the main character, but I also feel that they are probably better off at this point in their life. It is quite obvious that Max could have never given them what they needed or wanted, and I love that Max was honest enough to make that crystal clear. I also like that you didn't make him a villain, but just portrayed him as the sort of person who knows what he wants - it's mature characterisation, and it's really rare to see that.

I definitely want to see more of your work :)

This was well-written and very romantic. On characters, I like how you made Max. He does seem very charming and dashing and successful and talented. But with all that charm there is natural suspicion, like his interest in manipulating people. Though it seems to be well-intentioned, it's still enough to cause the protagonist to understandably question things as people are often guarded when it comes to their hearts. On relationships, I like the friendship they have and the honesty. It's a shame that the protagonist cried over him and suffered a bit, it doesn't sound like Max would've wanted that. But the keeping in touch seems to be about genuine friendship and that seems to be coming from a good place. At least Max was capable of being hurt by someone and wanted to give and be loved, so he has that genuine-ness inside him. On pacing I can't say anything felt out of place to me. No part jumped too quickly, it had a nice flow of events to it. The plot is thought-provoking for me. Max seems to be a brilliant man and thinker. Which is what people would fall in love with. It's a thing to experience, unrequited love. But only as a thing, something that could make you a better writer and perhaps better person. It's not something you want to take up a lot of your time that you could spend focusing on someone who would love you back. It could be fun to pine for a little while I suppose, but you can't waste your time on something that has no value. It was thought-provoking for me anyway.

This is a very short, but sweet piece that almost reads like a vignette. So much plot was contained within such a small word-count, but it didn't feel excessive. Maybe because the prose was simplistic enough for this to work. The plot itself was pretty touching, essentially a college-aged romance that winds up not meant to be.

I wasn't confused by anything in this story, and I couldn't find any issues with the pacing or structure. Then again, I don't have the most critical eye, so maybe others will feel differently.

Overall, nice work, and thanks for the review!

Wonderfully moving and honest reflection (a couple of missed words you'll catch on your umpteenth re-read). Luckily for all of us, time has a way of softening the pain of the then moment.