This was definitely interesting and I like the way that things were handled.
Seeing this shaky alliance with Technolocity's former assistant play out is gonna be interesting and I'm happy that things worked out for Sydney and Mason.
Nice one.

Now THIS is what I'm talking about.
This chapter was definitely a lot stronger than the other ones in this issue and I greatly enjoyed it. Humor was better and the Supernatural Olympics coming into play was a lot of fun.
Seeing the character development for Jerry come full circle was a treat too and I'm happy for him. Curious to see how this'll carry on to other issues.
And that cliffhanger at the end was great. I'm excited and definitely wanna see where this goes.
Great job, man.

An interesting one for sure.
I like Jerry getting a little more development and the action was great. Neat to see Garvoche again too.

So this one was a ride but definitely an improvement over the last chapter.
To start with, you already know how I feel about Sydney and Mason's argument so you can probably guess that I'm still a bit meh on her being the one treated as in the wrong. I know you've addressed this, but of course sometimes your protagonists can be wrong and it's important to be able to dive into that sometimes.
The action here is still a lot of fun and the quips and banter between Mason and Jerry was really good here.
And I liked learning a little bit about Mason's mom here. It wasn't something I thought about but now I'm curious.

Good work.

Not quite feeling this one to be honest. It was fun and I enjoyed the fight and the Luigi's Mansion reference but I'll admit, the flashback and just some of the exposition for this one kinda killed it for me.
I am looking forward to what happens next though.

Hmmm an interesting start here.
I like the scenario set up and I think you're doing good with Mason's friendship with Jerry here.
I can get behind the setup.
However, I admittedly have a little issue with the conflict. I think seeing Mason and Sydney fight is good and it's good for their characters. I'm just a little mixed about this particular thing because I also feel like it was also wrong for Mason to say that in the first place.

But I suppose we'll see how it goes moving forward.
Nice one.

That opening to the chapter was really dark but really funny. Is it bad that I can see Mickey doing something like that? Lol.

Anyway, this was a fantastic story! I know I mentioned this before, but I loved the attention you gave your side characters, like Sydney and Jerry. Seeing them being given as much love as the main character is a very nice change of pace from traditional superhero media. In fact, I think this story officially cements Jerry as my favorite character.

The whole concept was neat to. Creepy animatronics coming to life, while nothing new, was well executed here. I really like the concepts you use in your series.

I sure hope we get to find out more about the characters and their backstories. Can't wait for issue 5!

Stay safe and stay awesome, my friend :)

I don't know why, but Bertram reminded me of Mad Mod from Teen Titans.

I liked this chapter a lot! The Mario Kart references were by far my favorite! I also thought that the whole concept of fighting against demonic animatronics in Olympic style events is cool.

Pooh hoo, wait! Maybe NS and Jerry can get some info out of Bertram?! Maybe they can find out more about Techy's end goal, and even find out about NS's missing friend! Oh man, that would be interesting.

Once again, good job.

There are some pretty good jokes and humorous moments here, and I can SO understand how easy it is to miscommunication with the opposite sex and have your foot inserted in your mouth so my sympathy's went with Night Shadow there.

Very Interesting start so far, and although I did find a few errors here and there, (Example: It should be "I already made that joke, Mason" instead of Make) but unlike some examples I've encountered (including my own earlier works before I ever posted here on this site) it was still readable, and the grammar and punctuation seems to be okay to the best of my knowledge.

I will say that, although I did find it funny due to the characters reaction to it, to use a Batman comic like that is pure sacrilege in my mind. So I was both cringing and laughing at the same time reading that. But that was probably your intended reaction. lol.

This was an exciting chapter! I really like what you are doing with Jerry, subjecting him to character development in this way. It is pretty neat. He comes from a very reasonable place, being scared of pretty much everything. A lot of people can relate to that, I am sure.

I also liked the moment with Gavroche. The advice he gave Jerry is something that anyone can benefit from. Fear is not weakness, it is a sign of growth. That is a really nice way of looking at it.

Also, one more thing. I really like your subversion of standard superhero tropes. For example, Mason shares his secret identity with his friends. It is a nice change of pace.

Overall, good job! :)

Wow! Okay, what kind of disease does Louise have exactly? Some of the things she said were downright crazy!

This was an interesting chapter. During the fight between Jerry, Night Shadow, and the machines, I noticed a reference to Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That was certainly an interesting thing to throw in. Also, I really liked the puns. Those were pretty cool.

Man, poor Sydney. Although, honestly, if that figure of Donatello breaks so easily, it must be really cheap. Or it has gotten more fragile with time, as it is from 1988. Either way, I'm glad that Louise has a way of fixing them.

Overall, you did a good job! :)

That was an interesting flashback. It seems that Jerry's parents really use the parental favoritism card. And yeah, I don't blame Jerry for being frightened of Street Dawg. Considering what animatronics look like they're...yeah.

I think my favorite part of this chapter was Mason himself. He was such a nice guy even to the absolute jerks that were Jerry's family. Sure, he had a threat hanging over his head, but still. It was sweet.

I am really liking this story so far :)

This is a good first chapter! I liked seeing the relationship between Sydney and Maso. They really seem to act like a real couple; their interactions, positive a d negative, are very organic. And I like seeing how Mason feels bad about this. It is a very nice touch, as usually in fiction no one seems to believe that they are in the wrong.

Also, it is interesting how you are using a framing device for the story., or are going to tell the story in the form of a flashback. That is an interesting change of pace from what you usually do. I like seeing authors experiment with different techniques. Overall, great start! Can't wait to read more :)

Oh my! What a banger here.

The place was used as a secret lab and the animatronics are actually the bodyguards.
I'm surprised that the person behind this is Dr Bertram and he apparently once worked for Technolocity. Got to say that his lab might be handy to take down the Void League (in which Jerry thankfully did for a brief period of time).

In the end, it was nice to see Mason and Sydney make up. You know what they say; whenever there's a downfall, there's a lift off soon.

This story has a nice shout-out to FNAF and Mario.

The best scene for me would be when Mason placed on a green hat on two occasions.

Until now, keep on rocking. I hope that you can still be around on Fanfiction soon.
- Cheah

Here I am again. On another great story..that has a twist.

First, I wonder why Mason and Jerry have to find the medication at an old restaurant. Maybe the doctor they called isn't trustworthy.

Second, welcome to 'Five Nights at Street Dawg's'! I find it amusing with a restaurant full with animatronics and it is understandable that Jerry is afraid of me. It's like with FNAF; the animatronics seem friendly, but for us teens, we see them as creepy. I wonder if our heroes will get themselves into some jump scares!

Say...what really inspires you to make animatronic mascot restaurant?

Lastly, Louise. Oh..my...freaking...goodness! She is slowly losing her sanity and seemingly have more energy than an elderly woman usually have. I hope she doesn't cause anymore trouble or both Mason and Sydney have to clean and pay the mess.

This has been a great story so far and I will be reading the second half. See ya!