|Reviews for Climate Change|
| Whirlymerle chapter 5 . 3/6
Hello! This story caught my eye because climate change is hugely important to me. And overall, I really enjoyed it. I’m glad the note you ended on was one of friendship, because I think friendships are underappreciated in fiction and it’s not even particularly realistic that people will heal from their personal traumas by finding romantic love.
I think one of my favorite bits is the comment where Holly asks Doyle where he lives and he’s relieved she didn’t say it’s Dumpsville. I thought that was a nice detail and made the story feel lived. In general, I really like how you portray class differences between Holly and Doyle.
Overall, I really liked Holly’s character. She’s lovely and supportive but in a way that’s realistic.
[she could be memorizing] should be mesmerizing, I think
I don’t think the inclusion of the itinerary for the climate change conference is important for the story.
[how ‘bout if I act like your boyfriend] given how introverted Doyle is, a sufficient change needs to take place within him to say this. And as the reader, I don’t feel like it’s been earned at the point of this statement. Also, we don't see him acting like her boyfriend for the rest of that chapter, so this isn’t really necessary.
So I get where you’re going at with the climate change metaphor, but I think “changing your internal climate” is a little bit clunky. So I don’t really believe that both the teacher and Holly would come up with this independently. If you really want to keep this, I think it has to be one character’s idea, and the others can overhear it and use it subsequently.