|Reviews for Hero|
| Mairu chapter 1 . 5/3
Hope you continue this real soon XD I'm hooked
| Guardian angel123 chapter 1 . 5/3
A great first chapter!
and one from the point of view from the protagonist which is a rarity these days, but I love the set up of this poor, fox going through troubles and just trying to get by as well as establish the word I can't wait to read more when you make them!
| LDF chapter 1 . 5/2
[I bolted through the kingdom of Etian]
This is a really clumsy way of telling your readers the setting. This implies that Raiki actually went through an entire kingdom in her run, as opposed to the streets of a city.
[Etian had a very bad probably with how it treated us freaks. We were called Odd Ones. The reason? We all had something from us. From our eyes to our bodies. It could be anything, extra tails, wings, mouths covering the body—anything. We were freaks of nature. We weren't allowed in the main part of the kingdom. We were outcasts.]
There are passages like this where it seems words are missing and it can be hard to tell what's being said. I do hope there's an explanation for this mess of disabilities and mutations though, otherwise it just feels like generic hybrid persecution story.
[We were cast here to live when we were really young. Our families didn't want us. They didn't care about us. We were a stain upon the family name, so instead of killing us, they left us to fend for ourselves in the town.]
Well, it seems most families cared to some extent, because they left them in a town where they're among others like them. Otherwise they'd kill them, right? Especially if they're such a stain on the family name.
[It was a nightmare for any of us that lived there. It was hard to get by; hard to live. There was hardly any food for us and shelter. It was a poor town as the King refused to lift a paw to help us. The Queen was a different story. Hari went out of her way to do what she could to offer us help. The lioness was always gentle and understanding. She didn't think it was right that we were being treated so horridly just because we were born different from everyone else.]
Yes, Hari cared so much that the Odd Ones are living in poverty with hardly any food or shelter. She doesn't do much beyond passing a law that can be easily exploited. She doesn't provide them with job opportunities or anything.