|Reviews for You Are the Shell to My Tortoise|
| Zazu chapter 11 . 23h
Hi! I really enjoyed reading this, it was lighthearted and fun and exactly what I needed during my commute!
I also wanted to share two things I appreciate about the way you are writing this story. Firstly, the fact that we follow Chelsea through her day to day, including moments without Nolan, really helps anchor her as having her own life in which Nolan intervenes but is not necessarily central. It's a very healthy approach to a main character and makes it seem like Chelsea isn't here just to fall in love with Nolan. I think the abundance of dialogue with her friends around subjects that don't involve Nolan helps maintain this, and it keeps the story moving along nicely.
The other thing I really enjoyed is that Nolan's behavior is just peculiar enough to be qualified as weird but not so strange that it would feel as though the entire school should already be aware that he's not what he appears! It fits with the pace of the story, and allows Chelsea and Nolan to get to know each other as individuals and not just as a "what are you" type of investigation.
Anyways, thanks for posting this and good luck on the rest!
| Kuzhali chapter 10 . 7/29
The forest almost came alive in imagination in the way you described it..sweet..
| BlackNinja101 chapter 9 . 7/27
Sneaking off to the forest at night? Whatever could happen? Really interesting, please update soon!
| icaruswalks chapter 4 . 6/23
nolan! :D also lol for him not remembering anyone's name, aside from chels now huh? also same as ashley for seeing that nolan smiled for once, since he's always glaring at chels for waking him up huh? but he doesnt mind it as much and is now advised to find better sleeping places haha. the whole "I hated x like y" is a funny introspective in chels' head and cute that chels including comparisons with her friends. ooh inviting cody to the mountains too (that's gonna be a workout but good luck) and it'd be so cool if nolan somehow find a sleeping hideout among there huh...? as cute as cody sounds, i think im somehow attached to nolan's beginning and his warming-up to chels so waiting for nolan to show up haha!
| icaruswalks chapter 3 . 6/23
ooh, i know most teachers would generally like a student not to sleep or be late to their class, but if nolan is passing quite well in his classes then idk his methods but its working for him? cute that nolan and chels are now on speaking terms too, their little 'hi's' are too adorable hehe. i bet since he's warming up to chels, other girls are thinking its okay to talk to him too right? and its cute that chels is in a book club with her friends since romantic novels are the best way to bring together a friend group isnt it? ooh i would call if cody begin to like chels, or the other way around, since chels has a thing for guys who walk in late from oversleeping lol. was the week's book club book after a real novel cause it sounded familiar hmm. and yep i called that cody would be a love interest thanks to harry potter fanfiction lol, ive read fanfiction but not from HP even tho im pretty sure it's like the 2nd or 3rd most popular fandom for fanfic. there wasn't as much nolan in here but hey maybe next chapter?
| icaruswalks chapter 2 . 6/10
oh WOW the title is the quote i was talking about last time lol! and ooh nolan has interest in chels since he's staring at her (with his dead eyes i noticed) and she said good morning to him too! i like how she's so sarcastic with him, like her sarcasm is open for everyone haha. and im wondering why nolan would pay attention when last chapter chels noticed that nolan would sleep through class but still be top 5 in grading right? also is this a boarding high school? i just learned that but then it makes it even more weird that nolan is sleeping everywhere when he can just sleep at his dorm, isnt it? i do like that this is the chapter where nolan and chels are growing closer with these incidental meet-ups but hey theyre talking to each other and chels is even concerned over him. also chels being out of breath while trying to be a good person and help nolan to the his dorm room, thats so realistic, but props to her for trying to be a good samaritan hahaha! its nice that even nolan could appreciate her efforts and paid her back by remembering chelsea's name too awww :) also with chelsea saying "He's not as light as he looks." LOOL cause guys arent as light as you think when they have the height right? i liked this chapter with them two growing closer nd looking forward to more :D
| icaruswalks chapter 1 . 6/10
hi hello! i think this is about vampires right :D and also i really like your cover! anyway into the nitty-gritty, it's a fun start with our main girl (chelsea right?) whispering with her friends in the middle of a lecture while the teacher's back is turned haha. the dialogue between chelsea and her ashley is humorous since i can tell of their close friendship. i like how chelsea is tryna shake him up is like waking up a sleeping guard dog? and they said to let sleeping dogs lie so... but not in class i guess lol? its funny how nolan is constantly getting woken up yet he doesnt remember the dodge as chelsea smartly did so. but during lunchtime, i was also getting the vibes that derek and melissa were to be a thing? lol but it also looks like chelsea and nolan are starting their own when chelsea is volunteered as tribute to getting nolan to gym class hahaha! i think jordon did chels a favor ;) and their convo was a bit strained seeing that all nolan wants to do is sleep but hey a shaky start is still a start :))) wondering how both chels and nolan will grow onto each other so! next chapter :D
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/26
Yay! We learn more about Nolan! I really like this story's pacing. It's not all, "main character and eventual potential love interest(?) coincidentally meet every chapter and main character falls in love with love interest because he's so mysterious." And I'm glad that this story is rated the way it is. It just adds to the sweetness somehow. If it was M-rated everyone would only be reading for "that" stuff.
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/26
Hold up, Derek mentioned that he'd gone into the forest with his soccer friends, and everyone dismisses that, and not five minutes later he says it again and everyone is blown away. I think you might've just forgotten that you'd written him saying he'd gone into the forest the first time.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/26
Haha, I liked it! I was surprised when Nolan actually got the book thrown at him though. If that happened at my school that teacher would get fired and sued. Then again, this is fiction. :)
I was also surprised that this didn't have any reviews or at least a follow. I guess that's because the summary isn't generic and the rating promises exactly zero steamy scenes...
I suggest putting in a horizontal line between the end of the classroom scene and the start of the lunchroom action. I don't remember if there was a cut from the lunchroom to the track but if there was put one there too. Just so it's a little easier to recognize when the scene changes. (Don't ask me how to do it though, I've never posted anything here.)
And I know you probably know this, but never give up writing even if people aren't reading it here! If I was writing this two or three years ago, I would be devastated to see that no one was interested. That doesn't say anything about the quality of your writing or you! Besides, Fictionpress isn't really a place to get serious feedback.
I'll definitely read the other chapters, and come back to read more if I have the time. Good luck! :)