|Reviews for Associated Souls|
| Chronic Guardian chapter 12 . 10/20/2020
This is probably the wrong way to think about it, but I really want the whole "giving up the frontlines" thing to eventually develop into a point of contention between Drew and Trey. Not a deal breaker, sure, maybe not even a fight, but it would still be interesting as a point of mixed perspectives that Drew is holding himself back from a job that he could be doing much good at for Trey's sake.
But hey, that's probably just because I thrive more on conflict and how it's resolved than immediate harmony.
Also, again, as sketch as Lenci is, still one of the most interesting characters to the setup. Not quite "in your face", but kind of more independent. Won't just up and change their ways just to go unnoticed, if that makes sense. Do I sense an Anti-Hero for the main story? I mean, you can go straight up villain if you're feeling bold, but Lenci feels more Anti-Hero to me.
Whatever the case, Congratulations on finishing another Twelve Shots of Summer! I hope you feel more familiar with these characters and closer to launching them out into their own full-size adventured. Best of luck with these memelords!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 11 . 9/1/2020
Well, Cy may not be the main character but gosh darn if I don't want him to be. Yes, sure, protest that a researcher as the main character isn't as "cool" or "actiony" as all the regulators doing stuff out in the field, but the guy's got charisma. If nothing else, I hope he sticks around for the main story while everyone else gets their act together. They all need a cool normie to put things in perspective.
Almost to the end! One more and then it's over.
See you at the finish line,
| SoSaysL chapter 10 . 8/9/2020
Oh, how relatable. No one likes seeing a needle in their arm.
A short snippet in the life of Sabina, it seems. I like how she gets an upgraded syringe for her upgraded Therianthrope self. I wonder if "your worst nightmare" is the needle in this one? Sometimes the worst fears are the mundane ones, or the sharp things at the doctor's office - especially since I think Sabina's a fighter who regularly faces very scary things.
Not sure if Harper is enjoying this too much with the head pats and condolences? At least Sabina managed to get in some revenge at the end as an eagle owl.
| Chronic Guardian chapter 10 . 8/8/2020
Wait... is it because Sabina is literally a "monster(read: creature type)" larger than others?
...I'll still take it, but only because you're hitting me with such an extreme creative angle.
That said, again, I enjoy that the further I get into this, the stronger grasp I feel I have on these characters. Example here being face-value Harper and straight forward Sabina's softer/more vulnerable side. They're becoming more three dimensional in my perception, and I like that.
...Also, can Sabina theoretically transform into a Rowlette? Or is she not that kind of memelord?
Enjoying the run,
| Chronic Guardian chapter 9 . 8/8/2020
You know, looking back, you've given me ample evidence (including but not limited to flat out telling me) that Whiskey is kind of a memelord along with the rest of the cast, but for some reason it didn't click until now. That said, I really like how you balance her bravado against Emilia in this shot. While I don't necessarily buy that Emilia is all that when Whiskey did in fact get in that knee-capper, the back and forth between these two is nuanced and enjoyable. Having that character who seems one-step ahead for now and urges our heroes on to greater heights is just the sort of thing that keeps 'em from stagnating which, honestly, is one of the things I worry about when a character is supremely self-assured as Whiskey seems to be. Seeing those limits and opportunities for growth really helps me in approaching this fae gaelic firecracker.
May the memeing continue ever on,
| Chronic Guardian chapter 8 . 7/27/2020
Oho, so Trey and Whiskey aren't the only ones with bones in the closet to clear out... I suppose I should have suspected Harper would have her own batch of problems to address. No Avi characters are /actually/ just happy-go-luckies.
Seriously, though, it's good to get this side of Harper and Cy as it fills out the other half of your first shot. There's a solid vibe between these two of a life and understanding they want to share, but inevitably end up taking separate paths on.
"Whenever those couldn't answer her questions, she'd try to find things out on her [own.]"
"Cy was the first contender-after all, why wouldn't she want that?"
Is the "she" in this sentence Harper or Cy? If it is Cy, is it a misprint, or is Cy gender fluid?
I do like the overall flow of this, but I wonder if the last part would be better served in narrative. Maybe just a little something with Cy giving her a look that says "I know there's something you want to talk about" just to boost the poignancy of the silence in favor of an imagined shared possibility.
Really though, I do still like this one. It gives dimension and depth to a character who might otherwise come off as a little too floaty. For whatever else I say, know you accomplished that part.
Two thirds down, keep up the good work!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 7 . 7/21/2020
Eh... it doesn't do much for me personally, but I do get a boost going through this and realizing the characters are defined enough that I can tell the speaker just from the dialogue. That alone is an accomplishment, particularly in a setting like this without a major conflict distinguishing the characters. Distinct personalities through drives is one thing, distinct flirting styles is entirely another.
To another week done!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 6 . 7/21/2020
Wait, stahp. I'm confused. Who is the true hero being battled against? Is there something I'm missing about the Witch? Are... Are Trey and Whiskey secretly the bad guys in this case? *Conspiracies intensify*
Befuddlement aside, you've got some solid action sequence here and an excellent flow with your descriptors. A waist grab strikes me as more brute force than technique, but given what you've established about Whiskey that makes enough sense to slide in this case.
Obligatory questions about world mechanics of course come into play here. Yes, I get the basic gist of what Regulators do, but I don't know what a Witch is in this case. Is there an evil connotation? Is this a species of Supernatural? A human spellcaster? What's the motivation for the capture? I mean, it's simple enough to leave it at "Disturbing the peace", but my imagination runs wild at the thought of Supernatural social movements and larger cultural lurchings that may cause our heroes to question their work later down the line.
...Leave that aside though. The important thing is this works. Congrats on passing the summer's halfway point!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 5 . 7/9/2020
Okay, so this gives another point to tell the consistent thread in Drew and see what kind of a person he is. I'm slowly getting the impression that he's an active element, but not impetuous. He likes to reach out and likes to solve problems, but he doesn't do it at the expense of anyone involved. While he seems like someone who has gotten his stuff together, I hope he gets something of an arc in the main story. Or, failing that, an origins oneshot later down the line.
Also, great creative use of "frozen heart". Brownie points for you~
To another week,
| Chronic Guardian chapter 4 . 7/8/2020
Dang that covert passive voice, obscuring who left Lenci to watch a target! You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?
Jokes aside, you know I like restrained characters so there's automatic draw for me here. I want to know why Lenci holds back, what they have to gain by not fraternizing with Trin. There's a glimpse of something else going on beyond these games between the calculated slips and slides as these two verbally spar. Whatever it is that Lenci's holding back for, I'm interested to see how that factors into their larger arc.
Also, Trin seems a wonderfully chaotic little screwball to keep every eyebrow cocked. She's gutsy and straight forward, but manages to conceal a bundle of mysteries anyway. I find myself hoping she's a crucial part of the main plot, if only to unravel what's going on here with Lenci's suspicions.
Here's to more reviews!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 3 . 6/25/2020
"'So the things is...' Trey said, glancing over [to] Whiskey..."
"...Trey and Whiskey simultaneously squirmed. ["]The thing is..."
Okay, so I really like this take on the prompt. There's a lesson to be learned for T and W, but it's more in tempering than a complete overhaul. They both have a predilection towards justice that they can't ignore, and while Emilia may correctly assess half of it as emotionally charged dogma, I get the sense there's more to it. Their persistence may be partly bad habits, but it's also the persistence of an undeniable righteousness that experience so often dulls and punishes. If nothing else, it gives me a reason to look forward to these characters by grounding them in a virtue.
Excellent job pulling this one off and grounding it in consequence without making it too heavy. My applause to your efforts!
From your couch,
| SoSaysL chapter 2 . 6/21/2020
Whoa! A shapeshifter!
But I really like how you cue the reader into the fact that Sabina's a cat, now a bird, without being too obvious and breaking the flow about it.
With Bluetooth and Supernaturals I'm also getting a very fun, modern fantasy vibe that mixes technology and magic. Sabina very much comes across as a "too-tired-for-your-crap" and competent fighter, while Drew's a little more outgoing and chatty. Short, yes, but a fun snapshot into the lives of this duo!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 2 . 6/15/2020
Oh, world building? For me? You shouldn't have~
There is still a basic dynamic structure of serious one paired with a lighter companion, but there are sufficient differences here to distinguish Drew from Harper and so on. It's also cool to see a fantasy societal function like renegade hunting in action. I don't know the particulars, of course, but the taste here is enough to pique my interest.
I also want to note that you do a super clean job here describing fantasy mechanics like shapeshifting and do so with that perfect pace that fleshes details without turning into an info dump. Sabina explains herself without feeling like she's giving a lecture. While Whiskey may be our resident loose cannon, I'm sure pairing up with Sabina will only be a recipe for further craziness down the road.
Good job on getting another one shot out for your memelords! I know you're ready for anything, but the work happened at some point, and that's what I'm congratulating you on.
| FullMentalPanic chapter 1 . 6/9/2020
As this was designed as a character sketch, I want to commend you on very fluidly getting the personalities, and appearances, across without really bogging down in information solely from the universe these character dwell in. It's easy to assess the situation and the people here without knowing the larger plotline, so good work with that. It seems this is a real world setting, which I bring up only because I'm used to things being set in fantastical landscapes so it was personally surprising. Solid work writing sibling interaction. It's very wholesome and heartwarming to get some familial interaction, and the last line nicely showed the affection between these two.
| punktrashnoiz chapter 1 . 6/8/2020
This was so much fun to read! I really love the dynamic between these two. It's really nice to see siblings who clearly care for each other and value each other. Harper is really adorable. I loved the "Okay, Boomer". And the late night adventure to Denny's or IHOP feels like a scene right out of my own life.
I'm really intrigued about this world! There's aspects of it that are identical to our world, from the memes to the restaurants. Yet there's also something more going on here. I can't wait to read more about it!