Reviews for The Torture House - Xiao Ling
J.B. Rose chapter 7 . 8/30
I'm so intrigued! Can't wait for the next chapter, good job!
J.B. Rose chapter 5 . 8/30
I feel like Cindy is gonna be seen again, I wonder what kind of a character she's going to be! Great chapter once again :)
J.B. Rose chapter 1 . 8/30
Woah, that was intense! Good job :O
Guest chapter 1 . 6/30
What a roller coaster of a chapter! First our protagonist is running for her life and injured, then we find out this wild destruction has happened (and still is happening), and she has some sort of incredibly powerful abilities. For the most part, the pacing of this for the amount of action is good! I have one suggestion, based on my experiences as a writer: try an exercise where you sit there and think...what is my protagonist feeling right now? If she is afraid, what does being afraid feel like physically? What actually happens to the body? Then, describe that. “Her heartbeat quickened and her hands began to shake” is more potent than “she was scared.” It’s the oldest bit of writing advice I’ve gotten, and I constantly have to remind myself to do it. In short, show, don’t tell. But most of all, keep writing! That’s the best way to improve. Keep up the good work!
26letters-infinitewords chapter 2 . 6/21
Looks like you managed to publish it! Yay!
"Not many people go to Hell and live to tell about it." To my knowledge, that is true.
The part with the wall was relatable. Being just over five feet, I know the struggles of being too short.
That was a creepy dream. And ahh! Cliffhanger!
Great chapter! :)
26letters-infinitewords chapter 1 . 6/18
Wow. That's a really awesome opening- I'm intrigued. Also, how do you pronounce "Sfvider?" Anyway, great job! Can't wait for more!