|Reviews for ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴛʀɪᴀʟs - ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴏɴᴇ|
| UnknownQueen chapter 1 . 6/30
Ok so this is a great start. One thing I will say is maybe avoid being too descriptive consistently. Describing every color of every item your character interacts with is a bit of an information overload that distracts from the actual story. I would suggest instead of describing one thing at a time you could describe the environment they’re in as a whole depending on how relevant the environment is to the story at the time. Also self description of your character seems a bit unrealistic when they’re not directly acknowledging themselves in a mirror or a picture. Like regularly we would describe ourselves viewing something without feeling the need to mention our eye colors. Or at least not every time. So it’s just slightly repetitive. I wouldn’t get too deep in reiterating physical appearances unless relevant to the situation. Try to set more of a scene aside from white floors and gray walls. Maybe mention the feeling the atmosphere gives the character. Dingy, lifeless, suffocating, intimidating, dull, stale, cool. One thing that helps me is to focus on the other senses too not just what is visually taken in but what you’re hearing, feeling, even smelling.