|Reviews for The Time Eater- The Ageless Sword Book 1|
| LDF chapter 1 . 7/31
[but but long, wavy mess was too much a hassle deal with]
Careful of your grammar there.
[Inane pictures of flowers and other innocuous scenes decorated the walls, but their impact was small]
Really like this line, which adds a lot of credence to the statement made earlier that the place wasn't designed for visitors. Things like this come up as an afterthought.
[Scarver attack Khester]
[the insectoid Scarver]
Scarver shouldn't be capitalized, as it's the name of a species, which is why we also don't capitalize elf or dragon or human.
[Izak glanced at her, but she didn't care if he was annoyed. She was ready to get out of this place. Simply being here was enough to dredge about bad memories.]
Hey, she volunteered to come. She wasn't forced to attend, so her not caring that he was annoyed is a bit much. She should really be more worried that her friend isn't taking her trauma as seriously. Though does Lenore know this? She's rather pushy about the tour in the end.
Overall, it's not a bad start at all. The first chapter really draws you in. It doesn't infodump about the world or culture and doles it out when appropriate in a way that it doesn't seem forced.