After seeing your review for my story, Night Shadow #9: So Close, Yet So Far, I wanted to show my support my reading some of your work. I figured I started off with your first story published on here (at least I think this is your first story) and wow, I was amazed by how well this is written.

I love all of your characters. I really enjoyed the interactions between them when they were working in the fast food joint. Preston and Derrek messing with the ice cream machine and Emily intervening is classic slapstick comedy at its best. Very great job there!

I also love the moment between Samantha and Emily, it's clear those two have a close bond.

Charlotte must be the Barbra Gordon/Oracle to Emily's Batman, because she knows how to get criminals exposed and send their location to her friend. Must be nice to have a friend like Charlotte, lol. Speaking of the criminal, man Emily went to town on that guy! Very vivid description and I love the detail when describing his death, very neat stuff.

My one critique is that some of the dialogue between characters is very muttered together. Whenever someone new talks, that's when you should start a new paragraph. Kinda like this...

"Hey, what's up?" Charlotte asked.

"I just killed a child abductor, what about you?" Emily replied.

You get what I mean? :)

But overall, this was a very suspenseful yet intriguing tale, very good work my friend! I'll have to check out your other stuff when I can :D And again, thanks for checking out Night Shadow #9. I hope you check out the other Night Shadow episodes as well as a series of mine called Ballin' Pranksters.

~SD321 (SpiderDom321)