|Reviews for A Shot in the Dark|
| CovertEyes chapter 4 . 10/18
I had to read through it a second time to grasp where I was. I'm understanding what's going on and looking forward to more.
| CovertEyes chapter 3 . 10/5
Hey I'm interested!
I'd like a little clarification about when their fight took place. Was it a week ago? Then why does the last paragraph say a year and a half ago?
| CaptainSheridan chapter 3 . 8/28
I find you paint a vivid picture with your words; a lot of time is spent on describing the scene. It might be over the top for me, mostly because I think it creates slow pacing. However, if your intention is to focus most of your writing on describing the environment and character emotions, you have certainly nailed it here.
| CaptainSheridan chapter 2 . 8/20
Great job, this is a rather well written chapter. I am only confused by the sentence, "Tears bridling at hers, she had brushed them away." I don't understand this sentence at all or what it is supposed to mean.
| CaptainSheridan chapter 1 . 8/13
You're writing is rather descriptive, but I would say on the messy side and sometimes confusing. An example that comes to mind is the line, "she could feel a tear sliver down her cheek". Sliver is being used as an action-verb which grammatically doesn't work. Having the sentence, "She thought to herself" not connected by a comma to an actual thought reads strangely. You also have a few confusing typos at the end of your story such as, "she stride began to quick".
I do like the way you establish this character's feelings and allude to other details we might not directly know about her situation. I say keep it up.