|Reviews for Imperium|
| AE chapter 3 . 9/29
Another great installment. This chapter works to establish more of who Rin is as well as kickstart the plot with the main goal. It's good that you got the story started sooner rather than later, as a slow start can be off-putting and tedious to get through. There's great humor, and once again, the action sequences are done well.
(Possibly spoilers in following paragraph.)
However, I do think there are a few spots where things progressed a little too quickly (mainly when Rin goes from not wanting to help Adrian to being all on board). There are also a few details that don't make sense or were jarring, such as how big the Imperium canisters were, why the mother was pointing at the door, and what a red-eye rail is. There are other changes I personally would make as an editor (e.g. less adverbs, removing redundancies, etc.), but none of them hold enough importance to be discussed fully in a review.
Overall, this is a great chapter that is entertaining to read. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter and to see where you take this story.
| AE chapter 2 . 9/22
A fantastic start. You were quick into the action, you made plenty of use of showing rather than telling, and your humor is great as well. Great descriptions as well as action scenes. From what I can tell so far, you're a talented writer, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
I do think this chapter could benefit from more extensive editing, but not much. Less adverbs is almost always a good thing (when they aren't necessary, of course,) and there were only a few details that I found myself questioning (like how he had two bullet holes in his chest when he had three in his back; this, of course, might be explained in a subsequent chapter). There are other small details that aren't worth pointing out in a review. Overall, this chapter could benefit from the usual fluff removal (e.g. redundancies, wordiness, etc.).