Hello dear writer. Could you please format this in a more natural way to make it more readable? I'm not sure why you listed everything in a different line. Is this supposed to be poetry

I definitely like version #1 the best. Honestly I don't see much point in version #2, as it's just a few sentences.

Although I am intrigued with the story, I had a hard time understanding what was going on. I can see that its inspired by DC Comics, but as a person who knows very little about them, I was confused. I feel like i was just dropped into the middle of the story without a lot of context, and it's easy to get lost that way.

On the plus side I love a good vampire tale! In particular I loved how you used dialogue to build an atmosphere for the story. It was clear to me that this was taking on a noir vibe, very classic black and white detective feel, which I really enjoyed.