Reviews for Seven Sins A Sun
Mislav chapter 7 . 12/3/2020
Very interesting and well-done. It makes sense that the final chapter would focus on Pride, the most powerful and dangerous deadly sin of all. It makes sense that The Firstborn would take "many shapes, appearances, and forms across their uncounted eons of existence." I'm glad you mentioned the heat death of the universe too. Interesting how internal conflict are what always leads to the downfall. I like the idea of brane-based computer able to scan adjacent realities. The conclusion was unexpected but logical. I liked the reveal that their infighting ended up creating what we know of as Heaven and Hell; and maybe even our universe as we know it. The ending was spot on: "Those surviving Firstborn created another realm, to protect existence. It would seek out those that Hell was corrupting, and it would empower the virtuous to defeat them. Hell might grow exponentially, but its counterpart realm would rise to meet it. Similarly, the exceptional members of their kind from across time and space would be uploaded within.

The material beings came to call it Heaven. Those who saw creation as toys came to serve Hell. Those who saw their creations as fellow, potential creators came to serve Heaven. Across a thousand dimensions, the seven suns became a sun beckoning to Hell. Yet for each sinful sun, virtue arose to meet it."

Keep up the great work. I really enjoyed this.
Mislav chapter 6 . 12/2/2020
Very detailed, thought-provoking and amusing. Wrath; probably the most destructive and illogical deadly sin. Great work with scientific theory and explaining everything. It goes to show that life can develop even in the most dire of conditions. I like the idea of colony of microbes that sense heat with thermophiles and sense radiation with radiophiles. I also liked how the story showed that a lack of communication and understanding is what often leads to anger. The idea of anger and hatred being passed on genetically, from genetic memory, was also an interesting one. This part was chilling: "While each member of the species was effectively immortal, their memories defined the mindset of subsequent generations. The survivors and their offspring passed down such tactics through their genetic memories, becoming efficient slayers of kin and kith. They developed tool usage, such as the use of sharpened stone, solely for the efficacy of slaying those they shared lineage with." Keep up the great work. Looking forward to the finale.
Mislav chapter 5 . 11/30/2020
Very interesting and imaginative. Great set-up and attention to details. I especially liked the opening: "The ravs annihilated, rather than hunted, their prey. Their world was a perpetually churning atmosphere, a gas giant around a red giant. Beneath the opaque, roiling clouds of their already ancient world was an ecosystem without need for solid ground. They occupied a lonely place at the apex of their food chain, which had taken billions of years for their ancestors to reach." It pulled me right in. I like the idea of life forms that exist in perpetual freefall, rapidly reproducing while plummeting to their demise. And developing the rudiments of language from hunting tactics. It makes sense: once the rav got greedy and killed all the easy prey, only the toughest ones remained, and that caused the rav to go extinct. Greed really is one of the most powerful-and dangerous-deadly sins. The last line was spot-on. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to reading more.
Mislav chapter 4 . 11/25/2020
Very interesting and thought-provoking. Slatworms sound repugnant, and intimidating. You described their evolution, the development of their civilization, and their downfall pretty well. Luring in the prey by mimicking the sounds and vibrating the ground sounds especially cruel; but effective. Connecting cities with tunnels was a neat idea. Pretty smart to determine the type of chemical used judging by the traces left behind. All civilizations fail eventually. I also liked how this story did a good job capturing what "sloth" really means: it is not just laziness, but the refusal to change, thrive, becoming stagnant. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to reading more.
Mislav chapter 3 . 11/13/2020
Very interesting, complex and thought-provoking. I like the idea of a mineral ore being processed on lower levels, and assembled into components, used to assemble "mechanical beings like itself". I didn't expect the reveal that tremendous fusion engines guided the planet's path. Very neat twist too: all the living, biological beings/Forebears had killed each other a long tome ago, and the robots were running the planet ever since, and they were not aware of that until they became sentient. A different take on "artificial intelligence getting out of control". The last two lines were spot-on: "The ancient world escaped the death of one sun, only to perish in the fires of a younger one. Thus, the envious passed into oblivion with the charitable." Keep up the great work. I always have fun reading your stories.
Mislav chapter 2 . 11/9/2020
Very interesting and thought-provoking. Pretty original idea; the species for which the reproduction is death. Pretty neat how you made them communicate by means of ultraviolet light reflected into in their eyespots. I especially liked this part: "Significant innovations came rapidly and spread faster. The fallit tamed fire by observing the combustion of marsh gas. They worked metal by beholding how lightning slagged specific stones. They even developed an early internal combustion engine by beholding how a native species of insect-analog used combustion to launch itself over long distances. Their society, however, was constrained by their biology." This line was chilling: "The donor was aware the entire time." Interesting how taking pleasure in reproduction (and lying) led to their downfall. The last line was very fitting: "Thus, the lustful faded into oblivion with the chaste." Keep up the great work. Looking forward to reading more.
Mislav chapter 1 . 10/30/2020
Very interesting and poignant. You did a lot of research, and described the whole process very well. I liked the idea of an organism originating from a neutron star, with life growing on radiation, with their offspring carrying the memories of their sire. This was a particularly good line: "Nevertheless, the heartbeat of a dead star catalyzed life." I liked how "a fatal flaw in their biology" was their downfall. Fitting that the desire/greed for what sustained them (radiation), for what they killed the moderate among them, led to the complete destruction of their species. The build-up to that was very well written and explained. No species is immune to gluttony. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to reading more.