|Reviews for The Dark Secret of Magic|
| Kurono Kuro chapter 1 . 11/12
This is a nice introductory chapter. The details gave us a rough idea of your settings as well as few introductions with the two characters that I think would be important. So far the characters were portrayed well and their separation made me want to see them someday again. Now Chiyoko would be on her own and the second chapter would probably the proper start of your story. This kinda makes me expect good things on the next chapter.
I'm not too sure on how you started your story though. This chapter had been purely introduction, all informations were about the past and there was no present. You did well to compensate with your narration and your content. The result made this chapter to not have a dynamic start. However, this isn't a necessarily a bad approach, I think, so there wasn't real problem there.
The shift between the intro and the short-kinda-flashback that explained about her reason of joining the police wasn't noticeable enough. It was only when I've read until the part where she said she got the idea to apply for a magic police that I was convinced that she was telling about the past, and not the present while also making sense about the snow and other details that I saw as weird when you mentioned midsummer at the opening paragraph.
Overall, it's a good chapter.
| RailgunX chapter 1 . 11/7
This first chapter was very great to read and it sets up the world that you are created. I love how detailed the story is and I will be looking forward to reading the other chapters based on how great this first chapter is. I love the main character as she seems relatable as a person.