Reviews for Palace of Oblivion
Guest chapter 10 . 11/11/2021
Please update soon! I need to know what happens next!
Folding Turtles chapter 10 . 11/4/2021
FYI, I write these notes as I read, so some of my guesses may be REALLY far off the mark.

Just started reading this chapter and realized that the red drink Lune has to drink every time before encountering magic is probably fairy wine, which—I looked up the myths—is supposed to make you fall in love. That’s probably it, isn’t it? Aedriel is so thirsty for true love that he’s drugging Lune into it, but she’s somehow resistant… Probably because she isn’t 100% human… And he’s tricking her into drinking it by saying that it’s an antidote for magic poisoning because if you told someone that it’s fairy wine, they’d NEVER drink it. Man, that ancient fairy is truly devious.

Re: Aedriel Lune showing up to the celebration late… Remember the Queen’s words from THE PRINCESS DIARIES? “The Queen is never late. Everyone else is simply…EARLY.” XD Aedriel and Lune ARE royals, after all. Perhaps, all the other attendees were simply…EARLY.

SLALOM: v. skiing in zigzags. Learned a new word today!

“Lune began to wonder if the royal army captain had ever been in a serious relationship”: Tael is the ultimate f-boy, isn’t he? He’d be the alpha male of all the blitzed-out college parties if this were a contemporary drama instead of a fantasy fic.

“I can smell your brain cells from here burning from overthinking”: Me before every math-y exam in college. -_-

I bet at some point Lune and Tael are gonna have an affair. And the prince is probably up to something dark, and Tael knows/suspects something and is secretly trying to foil it?

“clothes dripping with blood-red liquid”: brought to mind the climax horror scene in CARRIE when the possessed girl walks through the high school prom, drenched in blood.

The fae wine at the party sounds like the ultimate addictive drug.

Aedriel’s bond: maybe he was cursed as a child, or something? Or indentured as an offering to a god? Or very late onset fairy puberty?

I think Lune has asked after the identity of Revenrhys at least five times. Sixth time is the charm, eh?

AHHH! The Evil Twin!

“More people died…than in all the other years of the world’s existence”: sounds like the atomic bomb.

I think that Lune is eventually going to do the impossible and re-attach the Queen’s mangled wing. In some sort of epic show-down, she’ll take down her aberrant son. But, in reality, Revenrhys may not be the bad guy after all, and is only back for revenge against his brother. It’s also possible that because they’re twins, Aedriel really is Revenrhys, and Revenrhys is really Aedriel, coming back to avenge his stolen identity. Ooo, wouldn’t that be a twist!

Heh heh heh, update soon! :)
Folding Turtles chapter 9 . 9/28/2021
("young" - in quotes) Prince Dagen training in military arts...reminded me of one of the opening scenes of GAME OF THRONES (book version, never saw the TV show), in which one of the winter kingdom's princes was also practicing with a longsword or something like that. "Lune hated the ocean." - She'd hate it even more if she'd read THE AWAKENING (Kate Chopin). Predictions: Lune got the fae genes from her mom. The blood fluid that Aedriel has Lune drink is some type of obedience potion...OR fae blood to get her to transform. One way things could turn out: A bloody war breaks out, Tael gets wounded, and Lune has to heal him...in a *compromising* position, and Aedriel sees and throws the guard into the dungeon out of jealousy.
Folding Turtles chapter 8 . 9/25/2021
I really enjoy this story so far! Solid world-building, interesting dialogue, great smattering of 3rd person POV monologue. I might have missed this somewhere earlier, but how old are the characters?

Specific random thoughts that popped into my head each chapter:

#1 - "[he] has an offer you can't refuse" - brings me back to THE GODFATHER. "As you wish" - ever seen/read THE PRINCESS BRIDE? I always imagine Westley when I see that line. I feel like the fae had instigated the Fillyrian invasion...to subjugate the humans (?) Star-crossed lovers! Though I bet the fae prince is gonna kill Kieran anyway at some point...

#2 - The sentinel, Tael, reminds me of Edward Cullen, A LOT - that same smug, self-satisfactory sense of superiority, super speed, super strength, and startlingly good looks.

#3 - "a series of unfortunate events" (!) A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS - have you read the books by Lemony Snicket? Aedriel x Lune is like a fantasy version of Christian Grey x Anastasia Steele. The prince has got serious attitude and lust problems.

#4 - ghosts as the remnants of memories remind me of the movie COCO - except this is a lot more sinister. I'm predicting that Lune is actually half human, half fae. Now Aedriel is playing Edward Cullen with the unable-to-read-love-interest's-mind situation. XD

#5 - "And that was the history of the world..." - going through a bloody revolution that only replaces one set of oppressors with another...ANIMAL FARM had warned us all about that. It does seem to be true, though. ...And Aedriel now also plays Jacob Black by warming the love interest with his own body. XD ALSO: I think Lune is the descendant of Aedriel's dad's archnemesis, Oberon, whom he killed a long time ago to gain power over the kingdom, and Aedriel had plans to manipulate Lune to cement his family's control.

#6 - At this point, I think Aedriel almost has multiple personality disorder with a touch of OCD - perfect example of an abusive relationship.

#7 - It is possible that Aedriel messed with Kieran's head to make him fall in love with another girl to make it look like he was cheating... RE: Aedriel not eating and ordering Lune to eat up - another sign of his psychopathic tendencies...

#8 - Still think that Aedriel and his dad have it out for Lune. Am almost convinced that Kieran's head had gotten messed up / controlled by magic.

Update soon!
Still-the-same-Salienah chapter 10 . 7/23/2021
Poor Lune! I am so glad you updated again. I am waiting impatiently to find out what happens next! And how does Lune begin to fall for Revenrhys with such a troubled beginning together?
Still-the-same-Salienah chapter 9 . 7/3/2021
Cool, I like that we are meeting the mysterious brother at last, and we didn't have to wait long to find out about the wing thing.
There were a lot more grammatical errors and hard to follow jumps in flow this chapter. Are you rushing to write these latest chapters and get them out? Take more time if you need.
Great story and great job writing it. Looking forward to your next chapter!
Still-the-same-Salienah chapter 8 . 6/26/2021
There was some intrigue here. I'm curious about the whole taboo subject of wings. We got a little hint but I don't want to jump to conclusions.
Salienah chapter 1 . 6/20/2021
My other review didn't stick. I can't log in because my account is so old I don't use the email address anymore. I tried to log in yesterday specifically to favorite this story. Anyway, you need to know that this story is soooo good! I am loving the pacing, and the characters are well developed (except for Kieran but I think that's intentional). You have an amazing ability to describe expressions and movement. I hope you continue!
Still-the-same-Salienah chapter 7 . 6/21/2021
I'm very curious about how your story blurb compares to progression of the plot so far. You mention an evil brother...is that an idea that is still coming or have things changed in the course of writing?
Salienah chapter 7 . 6/19/2021
This is really good! There are a few areas that could be written more clearly but overall you have an amazing ability to show expressions and feelings. I really like your pacing and I feel like the story is getting better with each chapter. I hope that you keep this going!

(I am not logged in but I do have an actual profile here. I will go work on updating my log in just so I can favorite this story!)
Still-the-same-Salienah chapter 1 . 6/20/2021
Not sure if my previous reviews went through. I made a new account specifically to review this so you are encouraged to continue. This story has gotten better and better since the first chapter. You are an excellent story teller. Please keep it going!
bookwyrmbeauty chapter 1 . 6/18/2021
This has the basis for a great story! You do an awesome job of describing the characters' emotions and actions.

I think this chapter, with enough elaboration, could have been extended into three or four chapters in itself. Learning more about the background history of each character is what helps the reader connect to the characters in the story, and the more invested the reader is the more they will want to read your book.

How did Kieran and Lune meet? How long have they known each other? Why do they have feelings for each other? Why did Kieran decide to possibly propose this night? What kind of lives did they have growing up, and did this bring them closer together? All these questions being answered as an exposition to the story will really pull the reader in and have them committed to finding out what will happen to your characters later.

Great job, and good luck!