Ooops. Red Roses Bloom is the fanfiction version of Lunar Academy: Mark's Story. I meant Lunar Academy: Mark's Story. Unless you also want to head on over to fanfiction dot net and review Red Roses Bloom as well.

Opening: I like how this starts out. I like the imagery about the sister standing out in a crowd of men with her green complexion. I like how you used words like “earnestly” and “periwinkle”.

You’ve misspelled recognized.

Plot: The plot flows just fine. You’re telling every detail of the story in such a concise method.

Character development: This is only the first chapter, so I assume how these characters came to be will develop later on in the story. I know one is an imp. I know that they aren’t human. Well, except for one. I’m assuming that whatever dimension or time frame they are in will be revealed later on in the story. It’s a nice start for the first chapter.

Do you have any specific origin where the names originate from? Jemmy is usually spelled at Jimmy. For example, there is Megan and then there is Meghan. The spelling comes from different origins if memory serves me right. Shayna is usually Shaina. Shea can also be Shay. One can be Hebrew and one can be Norse.

Please review Red Roses Bloom.