Reviews for The Light of the World |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Hi there How are you? I hope I’m not causing any inconvenience. I recently read your story "The Light of the World" and genuinely enjoyed it. I’ve been thinking about turning it into a comic in my style, and I believe it would be an exciting commission project. I'm confident you would also be pleased with the results and might even consider sharing it. As an experienced digital artist, I am currently open for commissions, and I would love to adapt your wonderful story into a comic format. If you're interested in commissioning me for this project, we can discuss the details further either in the general chat or on Discord. My Discord is lisakatagiri, and I’d be happy to chat about pricing, timelines, and how we can bring your story to life in a visually engaging way. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Thank you! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This chapter gave a lighter side of Harold. He's had some pretty rough going to date. A lot of how I see him is going to depend on whether he keeps his promise and cleans up the porridge pot. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but this would work really well in first person rather than third. I'm reading it as if it was Cathy's journal even in third person. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I enjoyed finding out some about Walter and Marie's history. Question: Why did you write this in third person rather than first person from Marie's perspective? |
![]() ![]() ![]() 1. Not Marie's finest hour. I had to double check that she wasn't one of the children when she was complaining so much about handling baggage on the train. 2. Walter came back well from threatening to fight his son. I really liked his admitting to the kids that it was hard for him to trust even God with his family. I enjoy that your characters have both strengths and weaknesses. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interesting to find out that Cathy has not yet accepted Christ into her heart. That gives me something to look forward to. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm glad they got through without Harold shooting a hole in the aside of the boat. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was a great "for lack of a nail... a battle was lost" chapter. Also, it ending with Cathy and Stevie asleep on a park bench is a cliffhanger which you haven't done before. Probably your best overall chapter yet. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I enjoyed Cathy's reaction to the other girl's fine clothes and shoes. It added a sense of normalcy to her. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked how the kids from a small island wanted to experience the train. It represented one of the many things in their near future that they have heard of but never experienced. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good description of the harbor. Now, on to Yorkshire. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Stevie is an annoying child. But I tend to find kids that age annoying. It's not their fault and you have written him realistically. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The close passage with the Europa added excitement. The fact that it was a German ship gave it a little extra oomph. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very nice details on the technical aspects of ocean navigation. You must have experience asea. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The line where Stevie responds to Cathy saying "...each much admired spot. Adieu!" with the question "Where's Addoo?" Strikes home to me. When my kids were small, my wife had to take a trip to Seattle. When she told the kids that she was going to Seattle, the youngest asked "Where's Attle?" I liked the chapter ending with Cathy's epiphany that home is wherever her family is. Great positive ending. Good chapter. |