I enjoyed this quite a bit. Nicely done.

My Darling,

I found only two small errors in this beautiful story.

1. In the 1:00 section, when Jean-Marlon is talking to the dreadful, tall woman he says, "So please do back to the mall...". I think you left out 'go'. Although I have heard this sentence structure before and it may very well be correct. However, I would change it, if only for clarity's sake.

2. In the 'Midnight' section: In the first sentence, "Blue and red light were flashing...", 'light' should be plural.

This story is great! I want to right a stage adaptation. We shall meal sometime and talk about it! Hehehe

i just read this and i'm wondering why no one's reviewed it because this KICKS A$$! Keep up the good work!