|Reviews for Journey|
| Vera of the Woods chapter 1 . 3/11/2005
What a great start for a story! I found this chapter very fascinating and interesting. I'm very eager to see what you have for us in the following chapters.
Like some have already said: your writing style is wonderful. The text just ... flows and dances; it has its own rhythm.
Keep up the excellent work! :)
| FrodoFever chapter 1 . 11/15/2004
Very good. Keep up the good work.
| JTM Aegis chapter 1 . 3/6/2004
There are a lot of sentences that run-on. Also, I see there are bits of info about culture, race, etc. that lie implied in this story. Perhaps you should further isolate them and explain each one and tie them together. Very nice I can tell you are a teacher to some degree. I would greatly appreciate ANY input you could give me on my fantasy and sci-fi stories (if you have the time). Thanx!
| Stroke chapter 1 . 1/25/2004
Hmm, fantastic. Really, it is. Definitely a cut above most of the entries on this site. Your descriptive language flows together seamlessly, without bogging down. It does need a few revisions, and that may be why your teacher harped on it, but overall it's fantastic. (If you need a suggestion about a revision, look at the very end of the last sentence.)
Until our paths under the pen converge another time I remain
| The Child of The Potted Plant chapter 1 . 1/8/2004
Why on earth wouldn't anyone like that? It was great!
| N. Amsden chapter 1 . 11/29/2003
I really like your narrative voice. There's an excellent rhythm and flow to it that fits perfectly with the subject matter, and rather than being awkward, the long compound sentences add to that flow.
To paraphrase the previous reviewer, your CW teacher clearly isn't paying attention. Perhaps they've got some bias against fantasy?
At any rate, this was good, and you should keep doing what you're doing.
| Farferrie chapter 1 . 10/20/2003
Yeah, me again. Hi. I like this one. A -lot.- I would create an update dance just for you if you ever add to this. Really, I would. And if your CW prof didn't like this, they couldn't see the light of day for the distance which their head was up their-hi, mom.
I'm feeling better. Can you tell?