|Reviews for Legacy|
| ConcertMasterD chapter 18 . 4/9/2006
What a story! It has its ups and downs, but is quite well written, although I can see stylistic improvements between this and your other more recent story. You like the name Strife!
I had a few quasi-"negative" constructive things to mention.
The men are all deeply conflicted characters. Generally the same dichotomy, too - division between "repressed" emotion and prevalent duty, and the catalysts that force them to face their emotions. I'm not sure if it's just because this story is about warrior types who try not to deal with their emotions (or at lest in this representation) ... but it might be a good idea to vary the male "emotional" palette represented, in their basic makups. Zephyr is possibly the best example of a good variation from the norm, even though he sadly becomes possessed by Diablo and all that. Hopefully he'll break free soon :D.
Anyway, that's the only negative that really was glaringly apparent. The rest - very good. I love the emotional conflict, and the action sequences are put together rather well. Much of the conflict is "picturable", and believable, even if the characters all take an impressive amount of punishment.
It's definitely a shame you stopped at the "midpoint" of your story - I'm itching to hear the rest. Hopefully someday soon you'll find yourself possessed of some free time, and can come by and finish up. That would be very awesome! Regardless, thank you for sharing this story, I enjoyed reading it greatly.
Daniel - ConcertMasterD
| HorseChild chapter 1 . 3/20/2005
very cool first chapter! i'm definately going to keep reading this. please update soon! ;)
| Alzemu chapter 1 . 12/17/2004
wow...just simply wow... you are so good at writing...i admire you so much as a writer!
then again your writing makes me feel sad because it tells me how bad writer i am...*sigh*...i really need to find out how to write better...well...anyways if you ask me, you are a genius writer!keep up the good luck.
| Wryly Coyote chapter 2 . 8/11/2004
Somethin's off. Dunno what yet, but, somethin seems kinda off 'bout this chap. Things just seem whirlwind, I guess. It's like you couldn't decide on your thoughts when writin this chap and wanted to get it all out quick. Sorry, guess this review isn't that helpful. I'll come back and review again once I've got my thoughts gathered and have figured out what I'm thinkin is off. Could just be my 'magination, considerin I'm an amatuer after all.
| Wryly Coyote chapter 1 . 8/11/2004
Very nice. Likin' it a lot. Suspense, mystery of it all. Haven't read 'Outcast" yet, but I'll do so once I've caught up with this story. Good character development; quick and yet leisure. Especially at the end of this chap, with Darius and Kaeldra. Likin' the rebelious side of Darius, and maybe how obedient Kaeldra is will add to the plot. So far haven't found any mistakes to nitpicker, but thanks for the grammar-check on my account. Now onto the next chap...
| Cinaed Born Of Fire chapter 1 . 8/6/2004
Ooh, I really enjoyed this first chapter. When I have time, I'm definitely going to read the rest of Legacy. Zephyr is absolutely adorable. I hope we see more of Sabriel's weaknesses in the following chapters. Well, well done. I can't wait to read the rest.
| trefenwyd chapter 9 . 6/30/2004
hey! this is another great story so far! it reminds me of the shannara books by terry brooks. if you haven't read them, be sure to, you'd probably love them. poor zephyr. anyway, grand story! i love it. keep writing!
| Evivy of the Shadows chapter 18 . 5/28/2004
A well written story, but I don't like Diablo. Sometimes, Sabriel's character flunctuate a bit, but I suppose that adds to the realism. Please update!
| Cutlass chapter 2 . 4/28/2004
This message is directed to Lioness Knight:
Hey! I dunno if you've gotten my emails or anything because I've tried contacting you before. Hopefully you'll check out my reviews sometime and get this message. I just want to thank you for being such a faithful, loyal reader, I really do appreciate it so much. Your constant encouragement tells me that there really IS something to my work and that the time I've put into it has been worthwhile. You're right though, I HAVE been working on Outcasts more than Legacy though. To tell you the truth, I was seriously discouraged when I posted Ch 18 of Legacy and received no reviews for a very long time. Also the story had gotten to a point where I felt like it was too big for me to handle without some serious planning, so I put it on hold. I'm very passionate about Outcasts and really want to actually FINISH that story, just so I know that I'm capable of wrapping things up if nothing else. But your review has encouraged me to take a look at Legacy again, and I promise you that it's not a dead story. I might be posting some much shorter chapters of Legacy sometime soon, but just bear with me. In the meantime, maybe you can check out Outcasts. _~ Thank you for being so patient and dedicated. And yes, I do have an annoying younger sibling. :)
| Lioness Knight chapter 15 . 4/27/2004
Ok...that's it...I am going to leave you a REALLY long review(for me) in hopes that you'll just update soon! This is a review for the whole story, though, not just this chapter.
You story is really really really really good! Though something tells me that you've been concentrating more on your other story-Outcasts, is it?-than this one. I'd like to yell out something along the lines of 'TraitoR!' but it doesn't seem quite appropriate, since both are your stories. So I'll settle with this: YOU CANNOT JUST LEAVE US THERE HANGING! No! it's...it's...like giving someone a spoonfull of mint chocolate chip ice cream and expecting them to be just content with that! M...mint chocolate chip ice cream...
Though my main intent here is to (hopefully) encourage an update, it's also to comment on how good your story is. I love! I have always loved it! And I will always love it! Don't doubt that, cause you've stayed on my favorites list for a while now. Your story was among the first that I read on fictionpress, and it's definitely been one of the only ones that I've stayed faithful to, because you haven't done a thing to ruin it. I mean, normally the stories I get hooked on end up killing the main character, and the secondary one gets so messed up and end up killing themselves, but this one has stayed excellent, and I have no doubt that it will continue to do so. The plot has been woven in such a way that makes the reader want to continue reading, and you have all the components expected of a great story: Action, adventure, suspence, romance, fantasy, etc.
Man...why don't these people get a clue and send you more long reviews?
EARGH...Do you have a bratty little SiblinG? I do...and IT IS EXTREMELY ANNOYING! Especially when they kick you off the computer to go to when they could just as easily thumb through an actual paper dictionary, and save many a bruisedarm! ACK!
| Skysong Randess chapter 18 . 4/17/2004
Ai, this is as good as your other one! Now I don't know which I want you to add to. Keep writing, you're doing a superb job.
| Skysong Randess chapter 8 . 4/17/2004
Dang it, why'd you have to kill Kaeldra? I'm glad I'm reading this after you uploaded the 9th chapter, or I think the suspense might drive me mad . . .
| Lioness Knight chapter 18 . 4/8/2004
You finally updated! And I just noticed...oh...you HAVE to update soon! Man...al the tension. Excellent! Please oh please continue as soon as possible!
| Simple Confusion chapter 17 . 9/25/2003
Wow.. this is absolutely fabulous! What a great story.. its amazing that as I read through this how much I can see your writing has improved. :) Anyway lovely job, I wait for more!
| Lioness Knight chapter 17 . 9/24/2003
YOU UPDATED! YOU UPDATED! YOU UPDATED! WOHO! I've been waiting like forever for your next chapter to come up, and it did! It did! YEAH! Wow...I gotta tell you tha I was very surprised. I checked on this story at least every week. But...out of curiosity, will it take this long for the next chaper? I mean, I can wit and everything, and you will still be one of my favorite authors, but it is a long time. Then again, I'm so glad you updated! And it was worth the wait, however long, even if I had to reread certain parts previously written in the story. But this isn't exactly about how good this chapter was, so I'll write about that.
This was a wonderful chapter! Go Sabriel! And Cutlass! This chapter was very eventful, and I liked it very much. I feel so sorry for Darius though...I mean, his blade sword...geeze. Then again, maybe it knocked some sense into him.
Gosh. You should devote a site to this story, it's that good. I mean, I've stuck with it all this time. I was wondering, though. Could I make one? I don't have that much free time, but I'd like to have something to do. If you completely reject the idea, the I won't make one, but if you're interested, I'd like to know. Though don't feel rushed to answer, my offer will stand for a while, and I won't put up ANYTHING without your consent. I hope I don't sound wierd saying all of this...oh well...too late.
Sorry. i thought that you deserved a nice and long review, because I can see that no one has reviewed this chapter yet. Please don't feel unnerved by it. Once again, I am very wierd.
I'll lever you with those thoughts, and I hope this made sense to you! And if it didn't, ignore it all.
Illigitimi non carborundum!
(Don't let the bastards get you down)