Beautiful language but so frilly! Like a cake with a few layers of crumbs and several feet of icing. Upsets the stomach if you are used to something with more "meat" to it.

I liked the flipping back and forth of the 1st person POV's. Good choice for this.

You should've explained why this "leading into darkness" was compulsory, I as a reader that wants to be shown this story is serious say, why not? The currents of this story aren't giving me a good reason he couldn't have crept into the sun and stayed. Really exuberant and elaborate and pretty, but without power.

I also disagree with the ending. Reading the story I thought, well this can go that way, or she might surprise me and do something of her own.

I also hold personal grudges against stories with negative endings. (That's not counting the bittersweet.) Success in stories sows success in the heart of the reader ...

Such typical ideas about light and dark! Obviously also not your own, but ones you've absorbed eh? I mean, have you thoroughly thought AND felt it out? Not all dark is dark, much of it is light. From light through dark to light. Do these make sense? They're what I've thought and felt out on the matter.

Aides is a treasure of a name.

...

Well, that was depressing.

Yes, depressing, but beautifully rendered. Lovely.

Very interesting.

Interesting! ;)

*sniffle* Aw. I need icecream now... this is great! aww.. Good job *sniffle*

it's beautiful. simply amazing!

*sniffle*

I wanted to read one of your longer fics, but it seems I don't have the time..I just read the reviews you gave me and they made my day. Anyway, I settled on reading the one-shot, since I had time for it..and now I'm sad. But it's a good sad, because I live for angst! I feel so sorry for both of them, and I love both of them, and I hope in the underworld they can finally be happy.

really really really good job!

*sniffle* that was beautiful.

That was beautiful.

omg... *sniffles and tears* i kind of sense that this is supposed to be over now...but i really think you should stretch it out into a multi-chapter fic... THAT WOULD BE GREAT. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh soo sad... ( very good too...i like how you wrote mainly their emotions...

Wow this is deep. any more?

So sad! Reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, how they could only truly be together in death. Very good writing.

~Elsie~

This was such a beautiful, deep, and meaningful story! I loved your imagery, and the way that you described everything so well! I can hardly believe that this piece has only gotten a few reviews! Oh well, you'll get plenty more, trust me. Keep up with the wonderful work!

God Bless,

Angel

I nearly wept. Your writing is so incredible. I spotted a few errors (though I'm sure that you could fix this if you skimmed through it a few times), but this story is very moving and beautiful nonetheless. It's definitely going into my favorites.