Reviews for Dare I Venture
Mutua chapter 1 . 10/19/2001
I really like it. I know that the best ideas always come out in that hazy night period. The mind forgets restraints and wanders creatively.

You underly in the poem that gods are the perfect creations and we are not. Perhaps we became so to achieve something they can't by sacrificing our perfection for a greater goal. The "gods" hate us for that, and plague us with the corruptions of this world, death, hate, etc.

The poem really progresses from the initial idea that we are to stick to what we know, and then ends up outside of the boxed thoughts of normal activities. Maybe we are on this world to possibly come up with something even greater than we have sacrificed ourself for previously. We pray to "gods", former images of ourselves; perfect, yet tainted from life. The same gods that cause us corruptions. Maybe they aren't the perfect ones after all.

Ending on "Dare I Venture outside?" The last statement of that line has a much different feel than the first. More of a feel of "Change the World for the better." but ties it all together: the Conformity and Nonconformity; Acceptance and Change.

ANYWAY, its 1 AM, and I'm at that hazy half-concious period. Ya know. The one where you ramble and let your mind wander...

(Much Love, Man)
Mutua chapter 1 . 10/17/2001
I really like it. I know that the best ideas always come out in that hazy night period. The mind forgets restraints and wanders creatively.

You underly in the poem that gods are the perfect creations and we are not. Perhaps we became so to achieve something they can't by sacrificing our perfection for a greater goal. The "gods" hate us for that, and plague us with the corruptions of this world, death, hate, etc.

The poem really progresses from the initial idea that we are to stick to what we know, and then ends up outside of the boxed thoughts of normal activities. Maybe we are on this world to possibly come up with something even greater than we have sacrificed ourself for previously. We pray to "gods", former images of ourselves; perfect, yet tainted from life. The same gods that cause us corruptions. Maybe they aren't the perfect ones after all.

Ending on "Dare I Venture outside?" The last statement of that line has a much different feel than the first. More of a feel of "Change the World for the better." but ties it all together: the Conformity and Nonconformity; Acceptance and Change.

ANYWAY, its 1 AM, and I'm at that hazy half-concious period. Ya know. The one where you ramble and let your mind wander...

(Much Love, Man)
Mutua chapter 1 . 10/17/2001
Very nice. I know well the best ideas come when you lose some conciousness. It allows your mind to wander creatively. I understand you're talking of something perfect, and we, the unperfect, sacrificed perfection to attain something even greater than that in this world. I think you're asking if we should dare to venture outside of even what we have now, to grow to an even higher attainment than the one we sacrificed part of ourselves for, hence what barrier you have broken in writing this poem(?), almost like the half-conciousness-reality you were in. Dare you venture farther?

A very new, complex concept, but a very simple thought at the same time. I like it a lot.

...I'm about to fall asleep, too...
Cerberus chapter 1 . 10/9/2001
... That was... really good... I'm at loss for words at the moment... It could be that I'm in a rush but... I really like this poem. Are you an atheist? This poem makes me want to write... it's very inspiring.
Xenotra chapter 1 . 10/4/2001
It all starts with one thought...
mara jade1 chapter 1 . 10/2/2001
... wow... i really really like this... the language is superb and the images are very vivid... this is what i want my poetry to look like some day...
solarfae chapter 1 . 10/1/2001
wow. cool poem. "pray to ourselves for the justifications of our strife!" - i'm going to have to remember that one. anyway, i'll say it again, cool poem
silverluna chapter 1 . 10/1/2001
"perhaps we realize that it's all an illusion as we fall into the abyss"-great line...u know, it's strange how clear some things seem in dreams...like u almost have all the answers...and then u wake up...i see a double consciousness in your poem: when u ask the question, "dare i venture outside?" u mean both the outside world/reality from your dream world/fantasy as well as outside of the space of your mind...a very deep poem, very well written...