Reviews for Undone
Bloodlilly chapter 1 . 11/23/2004
The last two stanzas are very powerful. Nice verbs, nothing ordinary or overused.
imxnotxyourxstar chapter 1 . 1/13/2004
Amazing poem, really expressive and I can totally identify with it. I especially loved the last two stanzas. Keep up the great work.
Dr. Tamwe chapter 1 . 8/27/2002
an eloquent statement about human experience that so many people try to deny, this poem points out that a person can keep pain at bay for so long and still have to deal with it while no one even knows. I appreciate your style of writing; please keep it up.
bib chapter 1 . 5/26/2002
It's like a nightmare only awake?
layne chapter 1 . 2/1/2002
You completely and very accurately explained the effects of night. I've experienced it 'oh too many times'. And it definitely did not 'lack' anything.
xox Sanura chapter 1 . 1/13/2002
Brilliant as usual! Ack! Have to go to sleep, Great poems!

Rina-san ~
Elij chapter 1 . 1/10/2002
Well crafted free verse with incredible, dark imagery! Excellent! You also brought back a couple of painful memories of my teen years.
quackingduk chapter 1 . 12/12/2001
very good. it has swift turns in emotion that give a personal touch as well as a unique pattern.
Raonaid Luckwell chapter 1 . 11/24/2001
Honestly I see nothing wrong with this poem. You're right, at night we are ourselves wallowing in our pity, thoughts and feelings.. while during the day we play a part, painting a mask so people would not know we are crying. Yes many of my nights are like that..
Aphrodite322 chapter 1 . 11/12/2001
Lacking? I somehow doubt that! It's everything that I've ever felt in the depth of the night. I love the line "Tendrils of memories permeate the void." That is so powerful!
Iustitia chapter 1 . 11/8/2001
I go through this alot at night. You nailed everything right down to building a wall around yourself.
tigris chapter 1 . 11/8/2001
i can't really think of quite something it's lacking, i think this is a cool poem. i can sympathize to a degree. keep it up. :)