The last two stanzas are very powerful. Nice verbs, nothing ordinary or overused.

Amazing poem, really expressive and I can totally identify with it. I especially loved the last two stanzas. Keep up the great work.

an eloquent statement about human experience that so many people try to deny, this poem points out that a person can keep pain at bay for so long and still have to deal with it while no one even knows. I appreciate your style of writing; please keep it up.

It's like a nightmare only awake?

You completely and very accurately explained the effects of night. I've experienced it 'oh too many times'. And it definitely did not 'lack' anything.

Brilliant as usual! Ack! Have to go to sleep, Great poems!

Rina-san ~

Well crafted free verse with incredible, dark imagery! Excellent! You also brought back a couple of painful memories of my teen years.

very good. it has swift turns in emotion that give a personal touch as well as a unique pattern.

Honestly I see nothing wrong with this poem. You're right, at night we are ourselves wallowing in our pity, thoughts and feelings.. while during the day we play a part, painting a mask so people would not know we are crying. Yes many of my nights are like that..

Lacking? I somehow doubt that! It's everything that I've ever felt in the depth of the night. I love the line "Tendrils of memories permeate the void." That is so powerful!

I go through this alot at night. You nailed everything right down to building a wall around yourself.

i can't really think of quite something it's lacking, i think this is a cool poem. i can sympathize to a degree. keep it up. :)