Your longer paragraphs are extremely painful to read. Please break them up into more manageable chunks.

Other than that it's fine.

I liked this ending, especially the way you broke Sarah's heart, man was that priceless, and I don't even own a Mastercard. Another thing that I liked about this story was how you Zero was just like Goku, a naive and passionate android that didn't want to fight at all. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being awful and worth flames and 10 being good, I give this a score of 100, which means that your story should be legendary.

Well, I'm not sure whether to say that was depressing or nice... But it was a great way to wrap it up.

I never knew you finished this story! I must have taken you off author alert, or something... Sorry! I'm out of time for tonight, but I'll try to finish thi ASAP. It's great- you got beter at writing the fight scenes over time. Try reading your first one, then read this one. I think there's great improvement there. Keep it up!

Nice intro to the two of them, Asylum. I'm surprised Sara didn't try any more with Nick... but that's just me.
That was smart thinking mentioning the mission to the 'stupid' machine.
Good job, and keep Nick's adventure coming. I don't want to miss it.

Another great chapter that you have here Asylum of the Damned. I can't wait to see what else you have in store for Zero, Sarah, Tei, Judy and the others as well.

This is a great story that you have here, and I wish that I knew about it sooner! I actually like this story, and is project fourteen X ?

O.o I pity poor Nick... The hormones are rushing, and he can't feel a bit of it. I saw that coming- Sarah movin' in on him- but Judy's reaction wasn't expected. I didn't expect her to say anythign in front of Nick himself...
Innocence is so rare these days- it's amazing to see it thrown into such dramatic extremes. Good job on that point, and keep it up.

Sibling rivalry... to an extreme. Well, there's one problem out of the way (hopefully). How long is it gonna take for Nick to fully heal, or get attacked again? I wanna know!
You're really good at describing things, especially your action scenes. You have a way of keeping me (the reader) gripped until the end. In this case, even AFTER the end, seeing as how I'll be waiting for the next 'upgrade'. A few small spelling mistakes, but I've been finding those throughout the story. Overall it's a really good thing ya got goin' on.

Sheesh... you don't have many reviews, do ya? Well, if you gimme more, I'll review every chappie from here out. You done gone got me hooked on ANOTHER thing! I desperately want to see where this goes.

not bad. it's kind of confusing at first though, and even thought the idea may be a little overused you did a good job keeping it fresh. however for a pg book you do use the f word quite a lot.

good luck dawgy. you can look me up. zen lon. keep writing

HIYAS ASYLUM! TAOL here. Good story so far!

Cool, nice cliffhanger. I kept hoping for more physical descriptions of the characters, but I sense we'll learn more in the next chapter. Since you have two characters have have the same phoenitical sounding name you may want to use different ways to refer to them. The tall, muscular blonde, the attractive woman, etc., rather then having a structure like - Nick said to Nikki. Not a serious problem, but it can become repetitive

over time. Looking forward to reading the rest of this story. Keep 'em coming.

Lowell

Okay, as a prologue you've caught my interest. Nice setup, but I felt that the heavy swearing was unnecessary, especially since there were no physical descriptions to go along with the three hit-and-run drivers. I think an interesting way to handle them would be to describe them as dark forms silhouetted in the headlights of their car. This

way they become faceless. If they're stone, let their speech and actions show it, other than heavy cursing. Okay, I'm of to read to chapter one.

Lowell